Saturday, July 11, 2009

Websites/Blogs - Round 1


I'm really excited about this tournament. Fruit was fun but this... this tournament is going to be fun cuz there are a matches within matches. We are all here on the net. There are the behemoths who dominate the web and there are the little guys who help keep the balance. We love them both. We've seen some websites grow from little known to the biggest of the big. And we've seen some shrink down again and lose their hold at the top of the mountain. We cheer on the smaller ones and help them grow by spreading the word to our friends and readers. We always hope the best for our own. First of all let me say that this is all in the spirit of good fun and there is not one website or blog in this tournament that I don't think is absolutly great at what they do. It was so hard to give the #7 & #8 rankings out but someone had to be a 7 or an 8. There are some that hold my interests more than others, but this is not all about me. This is about me, and you, and all of us. So let's pick our favorites for whatever our reasons may be.

We all know the #1s. Facebook, Twitter, eBay, and YouTube need no introductions. But let's talk about their competitors. Facebook will be squaring off against Texts From Last Night. It's a fact that all this new technology does more to bring people closer together. We are more in touch with each other than we have ever been. Even when we are mad. And even when we are drunk. And even worse when we are mad and drunk or madly drunk. You know, you've been there before. You fire of that text message and you wake up the next morning after you've sobered up or cooled down and you say, "What was I thinking?" Well, TFLN is there to remind you exactly what you were thinking. They collect all those texts we wish we wouldn't have sent and puts them on display for everyone to see like the fat kid's underwear being run up the flag pole at camp. Oh and we can even break it down by area code. We know it was you. Who else would be wearing latex pants in Macon, huh?
Ebay is up against, Why The Fuck Do You Have A Kid. We all have had one of those moments where someone tells you, "Such and such is pregnant." And without heistation we reply, "OhmygodIfeelsosorryforthatbaby." Well WTFDYHAK takes that and multiplies it by something that could only be some imaginary number some kid made up. And it's pretty funny until something hits a little too close to home. Reminds you of a family member or a friend more than you want it to.
Twitter is up against the imaginary momsters of Om Nom Nom Nom. Yep, take a picture. Draw some mean looking eyes. Draw some sharp teeth and you've got an Om Nom Nom Nom monster. It's amazing how something so simple can keep you entertained for so long isn't it?
You Tube faces off against Mark Cuban's Blog Maverick. I know not everybody here is a sports fan like me, so I will let you know that Mark Cuban is the owner of the NBA's Dallas Mavericks. But this blog is only 1 part sports and the rest is all business. Think what you want about Mark Cuban, the man knows what he is doing when it comes to running a business. I love reading his insights to the world of big business.
So in the #1 vs #8 match-ups my votes go to all the #1s. I just don't see any of the #8s getting by the #1s this time.

#2s vs #7s

The Onion vs Stuff White People Like - The Onion is a mack daddy on the net. It's been a consistently funny good read for years now. We in Macon are still a little pissed about that jab you took at us a few years back (And we did find out that it was some chumps from Athens that provided that material and believe you me we've been keeping an eye on Athens ever since.) Everyone has a favorite Onion story and we all loved Herbert Kornfeld (R.I.P. big homey). The Onion is a classic website. Now, Stuff White People Like is funny but more than that I find it to be true. For example look at this. Ok, now let me tell you a story. I worked briefly for the 11th Hour here in Macon. During that time I was enjoying my reign as the coolest muthafucka in town. I dressed funky-fresh and I could wear my sunglasses at night and inside and no one would question me. Then they decided to take an office picture around Christmas time and made me wear an ugly sweater. They published that fuckin' picture in the newspaper and I was never cool again. I had to stop wearing sunglasses. I went from looking like this to looking like this. So before all of my white readers fuck up another cool man's mojo please consult this website. My vote goes to The Onion cuz I'm still bitter about the sweater. What? DAMNIT!!
Myspace vs Soul-Sides - Myspace was once the Goliath of social networking websites. Now it's falling a bit on tough times. We saw it coming though when Rupert Murdoch bought it. I can't say Myspace is all bad. The very first version of the Cofffee Cake Extravaganza started on Myspace. But Soul-Sides is a blog that speaks to that music nerd in me. The record collector. Man, O.W. knows his music. There is always a lesson to be learned and some good music to play while you're reading this site. Without a doubt my vote goes to Soul-Sides.
Craigslist vs Top Tenz - Craigslist, you have some stuff that makes me laugh like hell. Like I'm addicted to the Missed Connections here in Macon. Macon is a really small when it all boils down and in the back of my mind I know I probably know some of these people. But Craigslist I have one serious problem with you. I'm unemployed and most of your job listings in Macon seem to be some sort of scam. That and the fact that no one has ever missed a connection with me. That seems like the least you can do after having led me on with so many false job offers. Top Tenz is a website after my own heart. If you've known me for long you know I love to do lists. Especially Top 5s and Top 10s. Recently I did a list of my Top Ten Manly Sad Songs. And let's be honest Coffee Cake is really a big Top 32 list. So I think Top Tenz may be Coffee Cake's long lost sister website. I mean check it out. How nerdy cool can you get when you do a top ten list of greatest spies? Or how about the top 10 Outrageous Comic Book Advertisements? Those ads were some of the best things about comic books as a kid. My imagination ran wild while I read those ads. Top Tenz get my vote.
IMDb vs Waiter Rant - Movie lovers seem to take up a good portion of my life now-a-days. My good friends Kelly and Aaron are both movie gurus and have heads full of movie facts like I have a head full of music facts. In fact I was reminded earlier today that Aaron could play 6 degrees of separation from Angela Landsbury to Pamela Anderson and make the connection in less than 6 degrees without using porn. He somehow seems to think he can do it quicker if he uses porn. While I, on the other hand, know absolutely nothing about movies which leaves me open for getting clowned by Kelly and getting lectured by Aaron. Through them, I have learned that IMDb is an excellent resource for finding out stuff I need to know about movies and directors and actors (Which I never need to know that stuff. That's why I hang around them.) So I would like to personally thank IMDb for giving my friends something to do on the net so that they too can also proclaim their nerdyness and hold it high and proud for everyone to bear witness. Now for the rest of us, have you ever been a waiter or a bartender or held any type of job in the service industry? Well you are going to love Waiter Rant. It covers everything that happens in a restaurant from the funny to the sad. My vote goes with you Waiter Rant.

#3s vs #6s
Pandora vs Fuck You Penguin -
Well Pandora, to be honest with you, I've never used you. I know what you do and it would seem like for a music lover like me that should be right up my alley, right? Well, I have a wonderful music collection at my fingertips and just haven't ever felt the need to look into you because of it. Plus, depending on who I talk to about you, you are either the greatest thing to happen to music on the internet since the invention of the mp3 or you are the worst thing to happen to music suggestions since my friend Cedric told me I should check out Vanilla Ice. While I do have to admit there is some cool programming technology going on behind the scenes of your website, for now I just want you to continue to simmer on the back burner of my internet surfing. But Fuck You Penguin, YOU are my pride and joy in this tournament. I am putting all of my chips on the table for you! I honestly added this category to The Extravaganza so that I could have you in it somewhere. I was introduced to you by Priscilla and I haven't been able to stop reading you since. I hung out with a girl who once shook her fist and cussed at a beaver since she felt like the beaver was acting like it was too good to come out of its hiding spot so she could see him. I thought it was one of the most ridiculous and yet funniest things I had ever seen. I relive that moment every week on Fuck You Penguin. This one is still my favorite. Needless to say. FU Penguin gets my vote.
The Huffington Post vs Yes But No But Yes - I like this match-up cuz in most cases I can't ever tell what is going on on either one of these sites. The Huffington Post can't seem to figure out if it is a parody/satire site or if this is serious news. But honestly, that's why I keep coming back to it. It's informative and also fun to read. No newspaper is that interesting. Now, Yes But No But Yes. The best way I can describe Yes But No But Yes is to tell you to click around. You are going to find something funny.
Best Week Ever vs Cinematical - Best Week Ever is always funny. Thank you for this one Best Week Ever. Some of you may know that I have taken a hiatus from playing live shows in Macon. Some folks don't understand why I would do this. Allow me to explain. You know how many times I have had stupid sorority girls come up to me and ask me to play Journey in the middle of my set? Hi, I'm Roger Riddle. I'm the guy who just told you to start reading the Soul-Sides website. I thought we'd met before. How are you? Cinematical is another website for the movie freaks but this one tells all of the gossip of what movie is getting made and who's being considered to play what role. You better not mess up Green Lantern like you messed up Deadpool. Damn! Did I just say that? Kelly and Aaron are rubbing off on me. My vote goes with Best Week Ever.
Perez Hilton vs Destructoid - The name of this match-up doesn't bode well for Perez Hilton. I know I wouldn't want to be stepping into a boxing ring against an opponent name Destructoid. And Perez has been in some trouble lately over using gay slurs in confrontations. He better hope Destructoid doesn't have any really close gay friends and really hates gay-bashers. Oh, by the way Destructoid is a gaming website. My vote goes to Destructoid.

#4s vs #5s
TMZ vs Fail Blog -
TMZ is another celebrity gossip blog. I'm just not into celebrity gossip. I mean, I'm Roger Riddle. I am a celebrity. I don't need to live vicariously through anybody other than myself. Now Fail Blog that's my kind of gossip website. Wait...that's not a gossip website? Well good, cuz I was wondering why I found it so entertaining. Fail Blog gets the vote.
I Can Has Cheezeburger vs Pink Is The New Blog - ICHCB high jacked my brain and held it hostage for three weeks while I looked at every picture they have on the website. This one is my favorite. Yes I am a Walrus fan. You'll get your bucket back one day. Pink Is The New Blog is like the "Lite" version of celebrity gossip. All the gossip without all of the blogger drama that comes with Perez Hilton. But it's still gossip. I Can Has Cheezeburger gets my vote.
eBaum's World vs Deadspin - Now I'll give it to eBaum's World. That is a funny website. It takes talent to find and collect that much funny stuff. Deadspin is a great website if you love sports. It's like a cross between ESPN and The Onion. Funny and informative. That's how I like my sports news. Deadspin gets my vote.
Life Hacker vs Post Secret - Life Hacker teaches you how to do a bootleg job on all the little everyday things that annoy you. Then there are something on there that make you wonder, why would I ever need to know this? And if you're like me you try to imagine yourself in a situation where you would put this trick to use and the outcome is never good. Post Secret is addictive. People write a secret on a post card and mail it in. But what really gets me is how well the art on the post card goes with what they are saying. Sometimes it's sad. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's scary. But I honestly think it's beautiful stuff. Post Secret gets my vote.

Tell a friend to join in.
Roger

9 comments:

  1. I just read the themed party blog on Stuff White People Like, and I'm hooked. The part about Kwanzaa parties requiring "physical, mental and ironic labor" is still cracking me up. I had to re-type this like three times just from laughing so hard. SWPL gets my vote.
    BTW, I completely agree about Post Secret: frightening AND enlightening.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Some of the more interesting things to me are: Why The Fuck Do You Have A Kid is beating eBay, Soul-Sides is hanging close with Myspace, Om Nom Nom Nom is neck and neck with Twitter, and of course Destructoid's blow out lead over Perez Hilton. Great stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, and of course Fuck You Penguin is WINNING!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just want to give it up for Cinematical.com for giving us here at Coffee Cake a shout out.
    Cinematical is up against Best Week Ever and it looks like they are going to win.

    ReplyDelete
  5. PLEEEEEASE FU Penguin hang in there!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for the shout out my dear RR...FU Penguin had better get it's ass in gear! Great props at Cinematical.com too. You better get to baking

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yeah, I've got a lot of Coffee Cake to serve up. Will you at least help me make the coffee? I've got some really good Blueberry Strudel coffee from Joshua Cup that I think they may like.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow! Lots of voting going on today. That's awesome! We can see the blowouts, among them IMDB, Destructoid, YouTube, Cinematical... yeah, those were definitely blowouts. Life Hacker barely squeezed by Post Secret and media darling Twitter just eeked by the hand drawn monsters of Om Nom Nom Nom (yikes!)

    Myspace took a soul pounding from Soul-Sides (I hate Myspace), but poor Deadspin lost to eBaum's World and man, people sure like buying and selling things rather than being depressed about the utter nonsense that is parents fucking up their kids (ebay vs. WTFDYHK).

    I'm looking forward to the next 24 hours of matchups. I think this is where it's gonna get dicey. It's too late and I'm too lazy to look at the next matchups, but you know... it'll be all good. G'night folks.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I had never been to several of these sites so I decided to check them out yesterday. I spent hours on Texts from last Night and Top Tenz and check it out - they both lost. Oh well, at least I have a new cure for the boredom.

    ReplyDelete