Thursday, September 17, 2009

My apologies Coffee Cake

It's been quite a while since I've been able to get Coffee Cake updated. I am still without an internet connection. I am working to get that rectified but it may be another week before we are back on the air. Stay tuned.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Movies - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)

While I have this handy dandy internet connection I'd like to say a few words.

Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike.
Ancient Chinese secret.
Call Roto-Rooter, that's the name and away those problems down the drain.

...

Hmmmph. I better say something coherent too while I'm at it.

First and foremost Star Wars WILL beat The Godfather. Han Solo would make short work of Don Corleone. That wouldn't be the first time he had a big time mobster after him. Remeber Jabba the Hut?

I don't care how tough Rocky was. He can call himself the Italian Stallion all he wants. He is not a horse he is a short little man. Simba is a real animal. Well he's animated but still he was a fucking lion. And doesn't the name Simba sound like someone who would fight in the UFC? Hakuna Matata? Oh no Rocky. Be worried. Be worried.

So, Dorothy...what's worse? Being captured by some green bitch or sharing a cell with Bertha? Tough one isn't it? So...Andy Dufresne. Why didn't you have a picture of Judy Garland on your wall? She was hot too. What? You too good? Yeah, the other side of that poster wasn't exactly Oz but while you were in prison you had a scarecrow (Red) a heartless tin man (Warden Norton) and a cowardly lion (Brooks). I don't remeber you ever getting high off poppies but that was a very creepy scene anyway and you had enough awkward moments on your own. Good luck buddy.

Ok look. The funniest thing about this match-up is in one film the bad guy is a demon. You know, a straight up, straight from hell for one engagement only demon. That's the scary shit. The bad guy in the other movie is Jesus...in a purple jumpsuit...licking a bowling ball!! THAT SHIT IS REALLY SCARY!!

Alrighty folks. I'll be back to update when I can. Thanks for being patient.

Later
The Rog

Technical Difficulties - Please forgive me.

So I bet you're wondering what's going on. Well I've lost my internet connection and it has yet to come back. So the updates may be a little sporadic until I get it straightened out.

First thing I'll do is fix this tie between Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Oh my god!!

That was intense!! Raiders was down by one vote with a minute of voting left and pulled ahead by 1 vote to win it in the final seconds!!

Fantastic work for all the Raiders voters. High fives all around.

We have a tie!!

Sudden death overtime!!

Raiders Of The Lost Ark vs The Goonies. Recast your votes. We have 30 mins in overtime.

GO!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Movies - Round 1


So I gave round 1 an extra day of voting because I know a lot of people do Coffee Cake at work and many of us had Monday off from work. Not me however, I was still slinging drinks at BJ's.

So let's look at some of the matches.
The #1s will all easily move on. But the #8s are all some of my favorites. Plan 9 From Outer Space is considered by most to be the worst movie ever made. The Five Deadly Venoms is my all time favorite Kung-Fu movie. The Shaw Brothers really put it down on this one. The Warriors is another cult movie that I love as I am always making references on Coffee Cake to Sirus's speech at the beginning of the movie. And Attack of the Killer Tomatoes...come on. That name speaks for itself.

Rocky vs Psycho - What if these two movies were combined. Do you think Norman Bates would have sliced up Balboa or do you think Rocky would have whooped up on him? Maybe Rocky was using the Bates motel as a training facility and the shower scene would have had Adrian in it. She would have just passed out when she saw Norman Bates and drowned. He never would have needed the knife.

Continuing on the if these movies were combined theme if Star Wars and Plan 9 were combined it would be called Episodes I, II, and III.

Grease vs Breakfast At Tiffany's - I have a big ol' soft spot for Grease. I saw it back when it was originally released in New York City as a Double Feature with Star Wars. I was no older than 3 but it stuck with me. So if Grease were combined with Breakfast At Tiffany's, the high school romance never happened and Sandra Dee grew up to become Holly Golightly. Living the good live. Danny Zucko was working in a garage and one day he would decide to pursue the woman who is now way out of his league. To explain his feelings he would sing Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl".

Raiders of the Lost Ark vs The Goonies - If these two were combined wouldn't it be called Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom?

Silence of the Lambs vs Amelie - That creepy guy that sat in the corner of the cafe stalking the waitress would turn out to be a serial killer. However since the movie would be in French it would be the most romantic murders ever seen.

The Godfather vs Rocky Horror - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Can't you just see Marlon Brando in fishnet stockings and platform heels? So the Don of the mob is a cross-dresser. Jesus that would be a good movie. Somebody please make this spoof.

Full Metal Jacket vs The Big Lebowski - This would be a boring film if the two combined. The Dude would be Private Pyle. And after getting yelled at in boot camp the Dude would say fuck this and go AWOL to never be seen again.

Forrest Gump vs Pee-Wee's Big Adventure - Oddly, don't you think if these two combined it would still be Forrest Gump? He'd just have a really odd laugh. And there would be a dance scene. But everything else would stay pretty much the same.

Stand By Me vs Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory - The kids would find a dead body in the factory and we would learn that Willy Wonka was the creepy mass murderer that we always suspected he was.

So...I'll leave it at that for Round 1. I'll see you all tomorrow.

Roger
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Friday, September 4, 2009

Humanitarians/Activists - Round 5 (The Finals)


This match speaks for itself. The two greatest activists for peace. The people's champions. Martin Luther King vs Gandhi. It gets no better. Who's gonna move on to The Extravaganza?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Humanitarians/Activists - Round 4 (The Final Four)


Wow! I can't believe it!! For the first time ever all four #1s made it to the Final Four! Susan B. Anthony pulled off a great comeback in the last minutes of voting to beat Jimmy Carter and more on to the semi-finals. So this means there will be a #1 vs #1 in the finals. It's getting good y'all.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Humanitarians/Activists - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)

This is why I love The Elite Eight. Look at these matches. For the first time ever it's all #1s vs #2s. Could we have all #1s in the Final Four? Quite possible but I think Jimmy Carter can take Susan B. Anthony. At any rate. The Final Four will be mucho interesting.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Humanitarians/Activists - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)


Right off the bat let me ask you all something. Where the hell is Meansville, Georgia? Someone comes to Coffee Cake everyday from Meansville and I have to say based on the name it is not high on my list of places to visit. Someone please tell me that Meansville is actually a pleasant place.

Here's another question for you all. What are some of your favorite charities? Let's throw some light on the places we think are good for our community. I've already mentioned that I am a big fan of the 826 programs, and I also love Macon's Children's Museum. Where do you donate your time and/or dollars?

Now, on to the tournament.

Martin Luther King, Jr. vs Gloria Steinem - Poor Gloria Steinem. She beat a hearty sea mn in the 1st round only to have to go up against the mack daddy of humanitarians in the 2nd round. Gloria Steinem has been at the forefront of women's rights and equality movements since the 60s and normally when you've done as much work as she has to make the world a better place you've got it made. But in this case, Martin Luther the King sits at the right hand of Jesus in heaven. Like I said, poor Gloria Steinem.

Nelson Mandela vs Princess Diana - I'm sure we are all familiar with the work Nelson Mandela has done so let's look at Princess Di. Diana was a busy woman. She played a huge role in changing the way people thought about AIDS and HIV patients, being the first celebrity to be photographed touching an HIV patient. Diana was view by so many as almost a living saint that "hell if she can touch a person with HIV, I sure as hell can too," must have been what people thought when they saw that picture. She played a huge role in The International Campaign To Ban Landmines which went on to win a Nobel Peace Prize after her death. At the little bit I mentioned here didn't even scratch the surface. Princess Diana was truly a lady. Does she have what it takes to get past Mandela? That's up to you.

Mother Teresa vs Elie Weisel - You know how every now and then we have a match up that makes you say, "Oooooo...that ain't fair." That's how I feel about this one. I was introduced to Elie Weisel not long ago by my buddy Kelly. She bought me a copy of his book, "Night". I started reading it and read it all in one day. Night is his story of holocaust survival. He made it through all of the worst of the holocaust. Lost his entire family. It was a gut wrenching and even moreso, a mind bending thing to read. You start saying, "How can anyone be so cruel." The work that Elie Weisel has done to make all people equal is beyond compare. Mother Teresa we all know about her work with the poor and the sick, disadvantaged children and many others. No one more deserves the title Mother more than her. This is a tough pick.