Friday, July 31, 2009

An early look at the Cosmopolitan Cities Bracket.

Getting us ready for next week's voting. Your homework assignment is to look up any of these cities that you aren't too familiar with over the weekend so you'll know exactly where you want to go on your next vacation (or at least which to vote for come Monday).

I am personally pulling for Tokyo, Amsterdam and Austin. All three of these are places I would like to one day live.

And is it just me or is the Eastern Hemisphere competitively stronger than the West?


Pop Stars Round 5 (The Finals)

Well, I have to say that this has been an exciting week at Coffee Cake. I can't say I agreed with the way it went down but that happens.

So here we are at the finals and we have Elvis Presley vs Gwen Stefani. I am going to guess that Elvis is going to win this match by a large margin but I have been wrong about so many of the matches this week that if this one went haywire I wouldn't be too badly shocked.

Next week we are doing Cosmopolitan Cities. So get ready to discuss your favorite places from all around the world.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Pop Stars - Round 4 (The Final Four)

I spent the evening last night watching the MLS all-star game with my favorite cutie-pie, Kelly Sugar. Once the game was over I started my stroll home, feeling good cuz Kelly had filled me up with wine. I get about 4 blocks from my house and the cops stopped me. Yeah. I got pulled over walking. It's not the first time. Believe it when I say this is about the 20th time I've been stopped walking. I was already in a frustrated mood and this just finished the job and ruined my fucking night. I am a suspect at all times in this town because I am 6'4", black and have a big ol' afro. I walk instead of drive and I pay the price for it in this fucked up town that I call home. You would think by now that people would know who I am. I mean, I was featured in a story that ran on the front page of the L.A. Times. Yeah that don't mean much here in the Mactropolis.
You wanna hear something funny? This is no joke. The cop that pulled me over was Irish. Doesn't that sound like the makings of a fucked up joke you have to excuse your one jackass friend for telling at the worst possible time? "An Irish cop, a black man and a (throw in another racial identifier of your choice) were standing on a Macon street corner..."
So once he is done searching me, (to his credit he was a nice guy and just doing his job but you would think someone would say don't fuck with the 6'4" guy with the big afro who walks with a limp. That's Roger Riddle. He's a nice guy) I decided I needed a beer so I walked to the corner store and bought beers for me and Amanda cuz I was right around the corner from her house. Well, I have a fucked up phone. It won't stay on. I need a new one bad. Preferably an iPhone. Well I'm sitting outside of Amanda's house with a backpack full of beer and I can't get my phone to stay on long enough to get to her. I finally shoot off two text messages. Then cops start running up and down the street with their search lights on. I'm getting noid as hell. I've been stopped once tonight under suspicion. If that search light hits me, I figure I'm going to jail for no good reason and I'm not in the mood for sleeping in a jail cell. Amanda never opened her door so I waited til it calmed down and headed home. I get home and plug in my phone and Amanda tells me that she finally made it home. So I walk back and tell her my frustrating tales of the night. We drink it up and watch Sex And The City (you end up doing some really non-manly things when your closest friend is a girl) and I wake up at 10am on her couch. See, I always have a good reason for being late on the updates.

So let's talk about the semi-finals now that I've depressed you all.


'nuff said

P.S. And big shout out to my girl Anna Ruth chillin' over at Auburn U in the Bama! What up, girl!


Taylor Swift just got her first vote. That means DQ just logged in.

Hey folks

I haven't made it home yet from last night. Sorry it took me so long to get you something to vote on. I'll get you something to read in a bit.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Pop Stars - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)

I got a good nights sleep and I'm not as mad as I was when I got home last night (But I will still come shoot your computer if the finals are jacked up!).
I called out a few places last night and that was really just my way of saying hi to you all. I see you are regular supporters of Coffee Cake and I wanted to say I recognize you and thanks for coming back day after day. So hello to my home state of Michigan and our readers from Midland and Houghton. Hello to Pennsylvania State University. And also a big hello to Lake Mary, Florida. Now, we all know you're here and you know we know. So join in the fun and say hi.

Let's look at Round 3.

Taylor Swift vs Kelly Clarkson - Taylor Swift just beat Prince so to hell with her. (Ok, maybe I am still quite a bit bitter about yesterday.) Kelly Clarkson, my friend Angelic went to see your show in Arizona (I don't know why.) but she said you put on one hell of a live show. I trust Angelic (enough to vote for you but not enough to pay for a ticket to see you live.) so you get my vote. Taylor Swift better wear purple everyday for the rest of her life and then maybe I will forgive her.

Madonna vs Gwen Stefani - Well I would say that there is no way the imitator can beat the originator but we saw what happened in Michael Jackson vs Usher. I'm picking Madonna anyway. Has Gwen Stefani even released any music recently? She's been mighty quiet lately.

Elvis Presley vs Bono - Sad to say, this is the only real match for me today. As of right now, I am all in behind Elvis to win it all. Bono, it's been real but if you some how sneak past Elvis you'll probably just end up losing to Carrie Underwood in the Final Four and I need to have someone who can compete against her in the next round.

Usher vs Carrie Underwood - USHER!! HELP!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING!! YOU CAN DO IT!! YOU. CAN. DO. IT!!!!! Someone please call the Usher Fan Club! Let them know what's going on over here! Don't let me down, Usher Raymond!

Final Four is tomorrow.
See you then.


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Ok, what the hell is wrong with y'all?

I have lost a lot of respect for the voters of Coffee Cake today. Imagine my surprise when I get home and find out that Prince lost to Taylor Swift! Gwen Stefani beats Elton John? Come on!! Now I might give you Usher over Michael if those other two hadn't been so ridiculous!! If you voted for Gwen Stefani, Taylor Swift or Usher I need to hear an explanation, dammit!
Midland, Michigan. Yeah I'm talking to you, Dow Chemicals. Did you vote for one of those? Explain yourself.
Pennsylvania State University. Was it you? Did you vote for one of those? Yeah I'm calling you out.
Houghton, Michigan? Well? Defend yourself!!
It better not had been you Lake Mary, Florida. That's all I'm gon' say. Better not have been YOU.
Kelly Sugar. Did you have something to do with this? Did you do this just to get under my skin? Is this payback for hitting you with the pillow this past weekend? I'M SORRY, OK?!!

Well thanks for giving me my first losing record since I started keeping score on myself. Assholes! Now I get to look forward to posting a 3 -5 record for the second round.

I'll give my commentary later. I'm too disgusted right now.

)-:< <--- Doesn't do my mean face justice!!

The Extravaganza list of tournaments

Some of you may know that all of the winners from each tournament go on to face off in The Extravaganza. Well a lot of people have been asking me what tournaments are coming up so here's the updated list. We have replaced Porn Stars with Cereal. I love suggestions for new tournaments so if you have any please feel free to share.


Pop Stars - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)

There were a lot of unexpected wins last round. Who would have thought that #8 Amy Winehouse could upset Justin Timberlake? Right on Amy. Pink upsets Beyonce. I guess I'm not the only person tired of seeing Beyonce every time I change the channel on TV. Missy over Kanye. Go 'head Missy. Kelly Clarkson over Lil Weezey! Never would have thought that. It makes for an interesting 2nd Round. Let's get started.

Michael Jackson vs Usher - This is so wrong. Usher has always said that his biggest influence was Michael Jackson. It shows. The way Usher dances is like a modern Mike. But what happens when you put the imitation up against the original? You pick Michael Jackson. So do I.

Lady GaGa vs Carrie Underwood - This is just a great big pile of who gives a shit. How did this match up happen people? Am I going to have to start enforcing a two drink minimum before you vote? I mean this match up could have been Britney Spears vs The... Jonas... Bro - Never mind.

Elvis Presley vs David Bowie - This is one hell of a 2nd Round match up here. Elvis did this. Bowie did this. Elvis acted in some really bad movies. Bowie was in The Labyrinth. I know I should pick Elvis here. I know he's the bigger of the two but to be honest, I just like Bowie's music a little bit better. Not by much. Just a little bit. I'm taking Bowie on this one.

Bono vs Pink - I'm going to let Angel "This Girl" Collins break down this match cuz she did it so well. Take it away Angel.

"In the first round match-up, you picked Bono because you HATE Paris Hilton. But in this round, you suddenly remember that Bono is kind of a prick, although a well meaning one and though you kind of remember how much you love Joshua Tree, you also think Pink is a better pop star but will still pick Bono. So do I."

Madonna vs Missy Elliot - This is another match that is a tough one for a second round. I like both of these ladies' music. Back in Detroit during the 80s my favorite radio station was FM 98 WJLB. I listened to it all the time. They played all the new hip-hop, all the best R&B old and new, and they introduced me to Madonna. Madonna's first album got play on the black radio stations. I thought Madonna was black until her second album came out. By that point I was sold on her music. Later on as I was hitting my teens she got really dirty and that worked out fine with my hormones kicking in I've always wanted to -censored- Madonna and if she showed up at my door right now I'd still **** ** **** *** and *** ** **** *** and I hope she'd **** ** *** **** *** ** ***** *** ***** *** **** *** shoes. -ahem-... Sorry Missy. You make good music too though.

Elton John vs Gwen Stefani - You gotta be kidding me. This is a no brainer. Elton John!

Kelly Clarkson vs Amy Winehouse - Ok. I'm taking off the gloves and it's time to get dirty. I'm putting my weight behind my girl. I know Amy Winehouse is fucked up but I love this girl. I can listen to her music all day. Peep. Dare Kelly Clarkson to write a song like that. Let alone sing it so you can feel it. Come on Amy. We're getting you to the Elite Eight, baby.

Prince vs Taylor Swift - Somebody help me out. Other than that spoof song with T-Pain and that Romeo and Juliette song what has Taylor Swift done? That's what I thought. Do I need to start listing Prince's catalog? Didn't think so. Prince!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Pop Stars - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)

Let the voting begin! My commentary will be ready shortly.


Cinematical flatters Coffee Cake

A couple of weeks ago Cinematical put in a strong showing during the Websites/Blogs tournament. Now they have put together a tournament of their own. 64 superhero movies will be narrowed down to only 1. Get over there and help our friends at Cinematical decide which is best. They showed us some love so let's pay them back.


Sunday, July 26, 2009

Pop Stars - Round 1

So my birthday week has finally come to an end. All of the celebrating is done. I finished it with a weekend in Savannah, Georgia. It was lovely. Lot's of walking around and looking at beautiful buildings and trees. Great food and great company ( I was with the super-duper awesome Kelly Sugar). The highlights of the trip were me getting us lost walking around the squares about a dozen times, a cab ride back to to our hotel room where the driver engaged the warp engine, an awesome plate of seafood pasta from an amazingly beautiful bar called Isaac's, my bank going out of business thus leaving me with only the cash I had in my pocket (good thing Coffee Cake brings in about $2000 a day and my pockets were fat from that), and best of all was on the morning we were leaving to head back to Macon, I stood in the Atlantic Ocean and rapped old school rap songs as the tide came in. The crashing of the waves made a perfect background instrumental. And though while I was away I had a lot of fun, I missed not being connected with Coffee Cake! So let's get down to the business of this week's tournament.

So we go from the gods of last week's tournament to people who sometimes think they're gods or get treated like gods. Pop stars. I include a bit of everyone in this one. There are the seasoned veterans as well as the ones that make me say, "Who is that?" It's up to the fans to decide who will take the Coffee Cake crown.

#1s vs #8s
We know all of the #1s. I don't expect them to have any problems moving on to round 2. But let's take a look at the #8s. William Hung, this guy got on TV and made a complete fool of himself but his performance went on to become so talked about that he was thrown into the spotlight anyway. You had to love this guy for his gumption and for making us laugh. Well done William. Susan Boyle showed the world what it means to have true vocal talent, turning the world on its ear in terms of pop star search shows. Go 'head girl. Keep dreaming the dream. Boy George...What are you doing man? I loved the music of Culture Club and I know I can't quite get the flamboyancy of recent times, but you're fresh out of jail and can start all over. Please play it cool and get back to making great music!! Now Amy Winehouse. Nothing would have done my heart better than to have had you ranked as at least a #3 seed in this week's tourny but things have not worked out in such a way. Come on Amy. Pull it together. I love to hear you sing. Don't let me down.
#2 vs #7
The Jonas Brothers vs Carrie Underwood -
About 3 years ago Amanda and I were walking around the Georgia National Fair and every pre-teen girl there had on a shirt that said, "I love the Jonas Brothers". We were baffled. Amanda finally walked up to one of the girls and asked who the Jonas Brothers were and the girl rolled her eyes in disgust and walked off. We, at that point, officially decided that we were old and out of touch. Our best guess was that they must have been some sort of Christian pop/rock group or something. 3 years later I'm just as baffled by them. I swear to god every woman in America is talking about them. Even my mom has made mention to me of them. My mom is a 70 year old black woman! What the hell does she know about the Jonas Brothers? I don't know a damn thing about Carrie Underwood other than southern white guys think she's hot. Is her music any good? You tell me. But from this video I can see how I could have been tricked into hanging out with her and thinking she was cool. She don't take no shit and she shoots whiskey. Sounds like my type of hanging partner. Then she go and smash up some cat's truck? Hell no! I'm out. You trying to get me arrested? I didn't know your ass was crazy!!! My vote goes to The Jonas Brothers.

Beyonce vs Pink - Beyonce is everywhere. You can't escape her. A couple of weeks ago I saw my friend Ben Potter doing the Upgrade dance. It caught me so off guard I think I just stood there with a blank look on my face. Plus there is no escaping, the girl is hot. Pink, is not your average pop star. I once read in Teen Magazine (Yeah I read it. Don't you? Geez.) how she pretty much enjoys staying home with her husband during her down time. I admire that. And I know my friend Craig Hamilton loves her music. So she is touching people with her talent and that's what counts. Well, I'd like for Beyonce to touch me...where it counts. My vote goes for Beyonce.

Elton John vs Fergie - Elton John is the man. I mean, come on. He was on The Muppet Show. How many pop stars on this list have been on The Muppet Show? One. One of the Muppets was even partially designed in his likeness. You know you've made it big when other parts of pop culture start to imitate you and ask you to take part in what's going on. Fergie, Fergie, Fergie. You're like the heroin of pop stars. Somebody's doing it cuz people are still selling it, but I don't know anyone who admits to it. I don't know one person who will say, "Oh yeah, I love me some Fergie," but when a Fergie song drops in the club all the sorority girls cold bum-rush the dance floor. All of a sudden they all got rhythm. My vote goes to Elton John.

Prince vs Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen - Prince can play every instrument but horns. He has produced dozens of pop stars (Carmen Electra, Sheena Easton, Vanity, The Time, Shelia E, Appolonia, Chaka Khan, George Clinton). He fronted an instrumental Jazz band. He still does sell out shows all over the world. And more than anything else, he's the only man I know that can wear stiletto heels and we think nothing of it. Seems as natural as my afro. Man, I remember when Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen were turning 18, every white guy around me was talking about it like they had been waiting all their lives to drool over them without seeming like a pervert. Heck, I hadn't thought a thing about them since Full House. I pulled up a picture of them and all I could think was that they still looked like kids. Still to this day I think they look like kids. Now that's a talent just about all of us wouldn't mind having! I mean yeah, they have done TV, movies, music, become well known in the world of fashion, and get recognized for all the work they do in the industry but that whole staying young forever thing, that's what they need to be bottling and selling. My vote is for Prince.

#3s vs #6s
T-Pain vs Usher -
There was a point about a year and a half ago that I swear EVERY song that came out had T-Pain on it. It wouldn't have surprised me if someone decided to use him in a new recording of a Beethoven song. My favorite T-Pain song? I'm On A Boat. Usher has been a solid performer ever since he his first album was released. He's a good singer, a good dancer and gets his fair share of photos in men's fashion magazines. You don't hear as much from him now a days but I'm hoping he'll drop something new that will turn pop music over for a new look. My favorite Usher song? You Don't Have To Call. My vote goes to Usher.

David Bowie vs Mariah Carey - Bowie may be one of the first pop stars in the sense that we think of pop stars today. You turned to bowie to see what he was going to do next. How he was going to be dressed and to listen to his music. For some reason women love him in The Labyrinth. From a music geek's perspective, he has worked with so many great artists, Lou Reed, Luther Vandross, Iggy Pop, Queen, the list goes on. And he married a super model. Now that my friends is a pop star I can admire. I'll go head and admit it. When Mariah Carey's first album dropped, I was a senior in High School and had a huge crush on her. That was one of my last superstar crushes. I still give her credit. She's a good looking woman. She has an awesome voice. And she's worked with Ol' Dirty Bastard. What more can you ask for from your pop stars? Bowie gets my vote.

Kanye West vs Missy Elliot - Wow. It sucks that these two met in the first round. Kanye West can do no wrong. His 808 and Heartbreaks album was a concept album that still went over well in today's fickle world of pop music. He produces for every body who's anybody. He's always in magazines and on TV. Hell South Park did a whole episode that revolved around him. Now that's star power. Everyone loves Missy Elliot. How can you not? She's so cute and her music is fun! She's like having a really entertaining little sister. I love Missy's music and creative videos. I always have. My vote goes with Missy.

Lil Wayne vs Kelly Clarkson - A milli a milli a milli. Why are people so obsessed with Lil Wayne? I can't lie, I like a good Weezy song as much as the next cat but he has jumped into the stratosphere. EVERYONE listens to this guy. He is definitely a tune in to see what he's going to do next type of star. We all know he's crazy and that's why we love him. Now, let me tell you all something. I have never seen an episode of American Idol. I've seen clips of stuff that people tell me I should check out but never watched it on TV. And I completely missed the first season. Didn't see anything. Didn't know who won. Nothing. I was really busy. I was DJing and working and just didn't see it or hear about it. It was a crazy year for me. Well years after the first one was over I have this really confusing dream. I believe I was talking to Amanda when I asked her, "Hey, is there someone named Kelly Clarkson?" I thought she was going to tell me she was a girl who hung out around the bars in Macon. Someone we knew. she told me she was the first winner of American Idol. I said, "Oh. Well I had a dream last night that Newton Collier was her uncle." Now that was ridiculous. Newton Collier lives here in Macon and he was a horn player for Otis Redding and Same and Dave. That's my only experience with Kelly Clarkson so my vote goes to Lil Wayne.

#4s vs #5s
Brittany Spears vs Lady GaGa -
Brittany Spears has been having a rough time lately. A crazy marriage. Kids. Controversy. What looked like she was going crazy. I love it all. That's entertainment. Just keep making music and I'll turn in to see what happens next. The instant the music stops and it's just all talk about you acting silly, I won't even look in your direction. Don't let me down Brittany. Lady GaGa. Dresses like a student of Grace Jones and I admire that cuz I love Grace Jones. Her music is definitely making people gyrate and she has a mysterious side that may well work out in her favor in the future. But for right now my vote goes to Brittany.

Bono vs Paris Hilton - You can't deny the power of Bono. The guy has put out so many hit albums and singles. He's always out helping the world be a better place for everyone. You've got to love that. Now Paris Hilton, I've never seen anyone be so successful at being a pop star. For the longest I didn't even know why she was a pop star. I knew her name was Hilton but I didn't understand why that made her popular. I mean hell my name is Riddle. My family created the joke that makes you think. One day I am going to inherit that fortune and still my notoriety didn't come until I started DJing. Her's came before her album was released. Needless to say, I was a bit jealous. I'm going to let my jealousy decide this debate and give my vote to Bono.

Rihanna vs Gwen Stefani - I am not a huge fan of pop music. I like Jazz, Disco and old Soul. But every now and then a pop song comes out that I absolutely love and Rihanna's "Umbrella" was one of those songs for me. For a moment my faith in modern music had been restored. I began to think there was hope for new artists. Rihanna, I'm still pulling for you girl. Use all that madness that has been in the news about you to produce great music!! Gwen Stefani is about the least likely a pop star there ever was. She was in No Doubt which got widely popular doing music that was very unlike everything else out at that time. Then when the group split up, it seemed like her fan base began to grow exponentially and all types of artists wanted to work with her. Then Hollaback Girl dropped and Jesus Christ talk about a song being everywhere. My vote goes to Rihanna.

Taylor Swift vs Janet Jackson - Pop Country is the hot thing right now and Taylor Swift seems to have a double fist full of it. Her songs are everywhere. Hell T-Pain is even in one of her songs. Now a days that's just a recipe for all types of success. Janet Jackson was Penny on Good Times. What more do I have to say? My vote goes to Janet Jackson.

Get ya vote on.
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Friday, July 24, 2009

Gods/Goddess - Round 5 (The Finals)

The discussion in Macon is all about how awry the voting in this tournament seemed to have gone. I was thoroughly disgusted at the fact that Allah lost by such a large amount to Money. There were many people who couldn't believe that Kali didn't at least make it to the semi-finals. And of course there were many people speaking both in defense and against Jesus. However most people seemed to be really pleased to see Mother Earth make it to the finals.
Let's take a look at the match.

Jesus vs Mother Earth - I am going to describe my reason for picking the winner in a very way. Jesus won the last round with 70 votes out of 109 total votes for the match. Mother Earth won her match with 68 votes (two less than Jesus) out of 103 total votes for the match. So Mother Earth actually won her match by a higher percentage that Jesus won his. While it is not by a huge percentage, I still think that Mother Earth has more dedicated followers on Coffee Cake than Jesus.
Mother Earth for the win!!

I am heading out of town for the weekend. I will come back and tell you all all about it. But you won't hear from me until Sunday evening. The Pop Stars tournament voting will begin then.
See ya!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Sneak peak at next week's Pop Stars bracket

So we go from Gods this week to people who either think they're gods or get treated like gods for no real good reason. Pop Stars.
Here's the list of combatants. Start thinking about who you will vote for.


Gods/Goddesses - Round Four (The Final Four)

Wow. The game was absolutely incredible! Club America beat AC Milan, 2-1. I got a chance to see Ronaldinho and Onyewu. There was a fight! There were several yellow cards handed out. Over 50,000 people showed up to The Georgia Dome in Atlanta for the game. It was amazing. And better than anything else, Club America made a fan out of me. I knew nothing about those guys but they just flat out out played AC Milan. I love to see Ronaldinho play but he is lazy. He is becoming a waste of talent. Now I'm not saying I'll give up my Barcelona loyalty for Club America... but I will be watching them to see how they do.

So this is so smoking awesome to me. The Final Four has 3 goddesses! Yes!!

Mother Earth vs Athena - The giver of live versus the goddess of war. You've got to be kidding me. First of all I am really shocked that Athena is still in the tournament. She should have gone down in either one of the last two round. But up against Mother Earth? No chance. Mother Earth will easily win and move on to the finals.

Jesus vs Venus - I am going to say that I want Venus to win. I really do. But I am going to vote for Jesus. I know Jesus is going to win and I want my stats to keep looking good. Someone once told me, "I feel the same way about the Georgia Bulldogs as I do about Elvis and Jesus. They aren't so bad, it's their fans that get on my nerves." I have never heard a truer statement. Venus. I wish you the best.

See you tomorrow for the finals.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Gods/Goddesses - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)

So, I had this great plan for my birthday. I was going to stay home by myself and watch TV. Didn't happen. Billy Dale Ray Hamlin was not having that. He got off work early, called me around 10pm and said let's go see Amanda. Amanda bartends on the other side of town and I figured it was gonna be cool cuz Amanda's bar closeses at midnight. We get there about 10:30 and then we are gone at midnight. How much damage can we do in so short a period of time. Well, I obviously under-estimated the power of the birthday shot. Dale bought us beers and a shot of whiskey. Another round of beersdThe owner then bought us another shot. And what more do I need to say other than we left that bar when it closed to go to another bar. Once again I landed at The Hummingbird. I can't complain. Good times with Heidi and Alison my birthday buddies. And my birthday celebration doesn't stop! I am really excited about today. Today I am heading to Atlanta with the lovely, lovely Kelly to see AC Milan vs Club America. My first professional soccer match.
So let's get on to these matches
Yesterday was quite an amazing day of match ups. Buddha wins at the very last minute by 1 vote! Venus vs Poseidon goes into over time with Venus winning (That is right, right? Venus did win. Now that I've posted this, I'm not sure who won. Correct me if I'm wrong.) And in a crazy major upset Athena beats Kali! It was my kind of day at Coffee Cake. I loved it.

Isis vs Athena - The battle of the goddesses just keep on. The warrior vs the mother. I am still going for Isis. Based on yesterdays performance from Isis, she's not looking too strong but I think she has at least one more win in her.
Thor vs Mother Earth - Ok. This is where I get off the Thor bandwagon. It's been fun. I know you have a classic comic book. But really...Mother Earth? If Mother Earth didn't exist you wouldn't exist Thor! Mother Earth gets my vote.
Jesus vs Zeus - I love this match. Jesus stole his name from Zeus. Don't believe me? That's why in Spanish it's pronounced Hey-Zeus. Zeus is pissed over you using his name in vain Jesus. You are going down.
Buddha vs Venus - Buddha is going to content all over your ass Venus. Both of these gods are losing steam but Buddha with that amazing come from behind, buzzer beater, win has enough juice to move on.

I'm heading to the soccer match. I'll see you tomorrow.


Rough birthday. Love y'all. But give me a little bit to recoup.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

We are going into overtime!!!

For the first time ever a Coffee Cake match ends in a tie! So the voting for Venus vs Poseidon will go on for another hour.

And Buddha comes from behind at the last minute to win by 1 vote!!! Some great and exciting matches tonight to decide who moved on to the Elite Eight.

Let the voting continue!!

Birthday presents

So everyone is showering me with birthday wishes (Thank you. I plan to bundle all these wishes up and use them all at once on the same thing so I am pretty sure my wish will come true.) and folks are asking me what I want for my birthday.
There are the obvious things. Cookies, sex, records, toys, comic books, a new pair of shoes, a really good dinner, an iPhone, a Macbook, a job. But here are some more creative things that I will gladly accept if you are thinking you want to get me something a little out of the ordinary.

An hour with a dominatrix
A Tesla Roadster
A USB powered lunchbox that heats your food
A week for two at Ponta dos Ganchos resort in Brasil
A riding lawnmower with a GPS
This T-Shirt
A date with Rosario Dawson
Carl Kasell's voice on my voice mail
A rubber duckie with sunglasses
A leather g-string with a zipper in the front
Horrified B-Movie Victims action figures
A replica of The Stanley Cup
A billy goat, a nine volt battery, a catcher's mit, one brown corduroy house shoe, and a zebra print vibrator (don't ask what for unless you plan to join in. females only.)

If you still need more ideas shoot me an email. And I know these will come flooding in so you might want to check with me to see what I have already gotten just in case.

Also I want to give it up for my man Vic in Houston. Vic is the designer of the Coffee Cake logo (I have a new one coming soon. It's great!) Vic finally put his artwork online for everybody to see. If you ever need a graphic designer I suggest you use him. He works cheap.

And my friend Will writes one very interesting blog full of noddle nuggets if you will. Very interesting trivia and in general good reading.

Talk to you later.

Gods/Goddesses - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)

It's my birthday. That's my excuse for this update being so late. See, my life is filled with beautiful women and when one of these beautiful women shows up at my door and says, "Let's go hang out," what am I supposed to do? I tell you what I do, I head down to The Hummingbird and drink beer and Jager shots even when I know better. The beautiful woman I'm talking about is my friend Jessie. Jessie and I became close over the past couple of years under some pretty though circumstances. It's the friends that you go through moments like that with that you always hold a very special spot for deep inside. So when I'm sitting on Amanda's balcony helping her put together wedding invitations and Jessie rolls by in what looked to me like a fire engine, honking the horn and waving, I knew I was in for a great night. Here's the honest to god truth. Amanda and I can't keep up with Jessie. Now that's really saying something cuz Amanda and I have done some crazy shit over the years. So for Jessie to be wilder than us? ... Look out. So, after several beers, lots of laughing, singing songs from Rent, and a wonderful dinner prepared by Amanda's fiance, Aaron, Jessie and I decided to head into the heart of downtown to partake in the libations of one of the few watering holes left in downtown Macon. That's when the madness started. We got to drinking and tossing bean bags. Then the shots and us singing. We had enough sense to not stay til they put us out but the damage was done. Jessie and I started the walked home and we were so drunk we ended up laying on the steps of St. Joseph's Catholic church. Then she started to beat on me outside of the Sidney Lanier house. We finally make it back to Aaron and Amanda's and it took us no time at all to pass out. When she woke up this morning, she looked at me with a confused face and asked, "Did we walk home last night?" What a wonderful start to my birthday. My birthday is always a celebration of me (why be modest?). And biggest and bestest part of me is all of my wonderful friends. They keep my punk ass from dying and support all of my crazy ideas. They feed me and clothe me and keep me laughing and smiling. So, here's to Amanda and Aaron, Jessie, Kelly, Billy Dale Raye Hamlin, Jr, Chris Busby, Jen Evans, Kim Bracket, Corey, Josh, Angel and Mike Collins, Carol, Dirt Dog, Jacki, Cameron, Kevin (who I don't see near enough) and his wife Tawanna (who's having a baby so I don't have to), Stick and Leslie, Lesley "11th Hour" Wright, Brad and Megan "The 11 Hour" Evans, Chris Horne, and the entire downtown Macon crew, musicians, artists, alcoholics and story tellers. (I'd be naming people for weeks if I didn't cut myself off.) You all know who you are and you know I love you all. This is dedicated to all my friends who make each year of my life wonderful. You all are the gods and goddesses of my life.

Now let's get on to this fantastic Round 2!

Isis vs The Flying Spaghetti Monser - Well Flying Spaghetti Monster, you pulled off a massive first round upset. It seems The Force is strong with this one. But you're up against the Goddess of Goddesses. Isis ain't no joke. Can you handle all that fine ass Egyptianess? I doubt it. My vote goes to Isis.
Kali vs Athena - Wow. Kali knocked out the ultra violent KoKou only to move on to face the goddess of war. There is more Kali talk than a little bit floating around Coffee Cake so I'd be a plum fool not to vote for her. Kali it is.
Money vs Mother Earth - Let me say right now that I was more than embarrassed by Money trouncing Allah like that in the first round. I apologize to Muslims everywhere. How can it be that there are that many money hungry bastards reading Coffee Cake? What, does everybody here idolize Gordon Gecko in Wall Street? If Money beats Mother Earth I will shut this website down.
Thor vs Apollo - The god of thunder versus the god of music. Thor carries a fuckin' hammer. That's still one of the coolest things I've ever heard. I wish I could walk around with a hammer all the time without looking like a lunatic. Thor gets my vote.
Jesus vs Shiva - Most people think Jesus looks like this. I happen to think Jesus probably looked a lot like Bob Marley. I wish more people thought of Jesus like this. Anyway, I just can't see Shiva taking down Jesus. My vote goes with Jesus. He loves the little children.
Zeus vs Coyote - I know that Zeus is one of the favorites to take it all but Coyote is a tricky bastard. I'm looking to see Coyote do some playful magic on Zeus and come out howling and on top in this match.
Buddha vs Ra - Tough one here. My aunt gave me a statue of a meditating Buddha when I was 2 years old and I was always fascinated by him. I would sit in front of that statue for hours just staring at him.. I miss Aunt Emma. Now that I'm grown I would love to talk life theories with her. So my vote goes to Buddha in memory of Aunt Emma.
Venus vs Poseidon - Like I'd really pick a grumpy old man over the smoking hot Goddess of Love. Venus. No doubt.

Thanks again for being patient.
Happy birthday to me.

P.S. Happy Birthday to Alison, Heidi, Barrett, and Elisha (Birthday buddies are the best buddies) CANCERS ROCK!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Gods/Goddesses - Round 1

Last week was quite an exciting week around Coffee Cake. The competition for the Website/Blogs championship was fierce. I think this week may be even more intense. I've spent a lot of time in bars and one of the rules of every bar is, Never Talk Religion. Mix alcohol with a closely held belief and trouble is bound to happen. Well I'm hoping that people defend their god with all they've got. So let's look at the matches.

#1s vs #8s
Yahweh vs The Flying Spaghetti Monster -
If there is going to be a big upset in the first round, I think this is going to be it. Yahweh is the god of the Old Testament so he is the man to the Jews and the Christians see Yahweh as part of the holy trinity. Meaning, Yahweh has a very large fan base to draw votes from. The Flying Spaghetti Monster has got a growing cult of followers. Its religion is called Pastafarianism and the deity resembles spaghetti and meatballs. It's so crazy, it get's my vote.
Allah vs Money - I like this match-up. Cuz all of this war is very money oriented so you know Allah is walking around heaven right now pissed! I want Allah to kick Money's ass. Plus Money is such a lame ass thing to worship anyway. Sure it can buy me stuff but it ain't got no sweet special powers. Money can't create a whole universe. Allah, I'm with you on this one. There is a first round jihad against Money going down right here.
Jesus vs Baal - Man, Jesus was a cool cat. Who can argue with someone who is walking around saying, "Could y'all just be nice to each other? If you do, everything will work out. Watch." That's my kind of guy. He wasn't all uppity with his godliness. He hung out with regular guys. Women with bad reputations. Played with kids. Heck the guy changed water into wine so the party wouldn't stop at a wedding. I can dig it. Now poor Baal just got the short end of the stick. Baal was just the Canaanites sun and fertility god. Then in a brilliant use of marketing, or a dastardly smear campaign depending on what side you are on, Baal became known as Beelzebub which we all know as The Devil. I know you got shafted Baal but Jesus is just too cool man. My vote goes with Jesus on this one.
Buddha vs Satan - Any time I've seen a depiction of Buddha he's always smiling or at worse just looking really relaxed and content. So if his theories on life can do that for me, then by jove I'm bout it, bout it. On the other hand every time I see a depiction of Satan it either scares the shit out of me or he seems really sneaky. Neither work out so well for me. You ever read any stories where Satan get's referred to as "the gentleman"? Like people are scared to speak his name or to say how crazy things tend to go when he comes around. Like the way he's portrayed in The Rolling Stones' "Sympathy For The Devil". He just comes off as someone who's just misunderstood. That's scary to me! Here's this guy who comes off as nice. People speak VERY nicely of him but he has this reputation for making life hard for you. Sorry sir. I must put my support behind Buddha. I hope you understand that it is nothing personal.

#2s vs #7s
Kali vs Kokou -
If we could see these two duke it out in a ring together, this would truly be a great match to watch. Kali has quite a fan following here at Coffee Cake. I've heard a lot of people say they are pulling for her. She's best known as the goddess who will annihilate everything in her path. She is so much more than that but that's kind of a hard thing to over look. Like, fellas imagine you meet the girl of your dreams. She's beautiful. She's smart. She's good with kids. She's a great cook. She can change a tire faster than you. She has a great job and she's into sports. Perfect. But she's also killed 100 people. OOOOoooo...You know I just remembered I am supposed to be...doing something else. Basically you don't mess with that girl. Same with Kali. Don't tick her off. Now Kokou is the most powerful of the warrior gods in the religion Yoruba. My only problem with KoKou is that when he decides to enter your body in a religious ceremony he's so powerful and violent that most people who channel him end up hurting themselves. I fall down enough on my own. I don't need my god inflicting damage on me when he just stops in to say hi. My vote goes with Kali.
Thor vs Aizen-Myoo - Thor is another strong favorite to win here in this week's Tournament. As gods go, Thor is pretty cool. Big muscles. Carries around a hammer. Has a winged helmet. Can make it thunder. I wish I could make it thunder. I would use it to punctuate the end of sentences. I'd be all like, "Coffee Cake is the greatest website in the WORLD!" *BOOM* People would get tired of it but it would still be fun. Aizen-Myoo. First of all that is just a cool looking and sounding name. Second of all, he is the god of looooooove. Aw yeah. And even better than that he is worshiped by landlords, prostitutes, singers and musicians. No wonder I'm drawn to this guy. He's kind of a strange looking guy but he has the right to be that way he's a god. Aizen-Myoo gets my vote.
Zeus vs Toyo-Uke-Bime - Big daddy Zeus! God of the gods. When he wasn't busy setting his siblings free he was busy, well...getting laid. Zeus was screwing every woman he could get his hands on seemed like. That cat had a ton of kids. His child support payments must be why he was such a driven individual. I mean he must have been like, "Shiiiit this god stuff is nice but I've got almost 100 kids. I need a raise. I think I'll apply for that king of the gods position." Toyo-Uke-Bime is a Japanese goddess. Known as the princess of rich food, she is the goddess of Earth, food and agriculture. I just picture this goddess being the prettiest and sweetest woman I've ever seen. She would come up to me and touch me gently on my shoulder and smile and offer me an apple. But my vote goes to Zeus.
Venus vs Yamato - Venus. The goddess of love and beauty! ... and fertility. I'm not down with having kids. Nothing wrong with it. It's just not for me. Some people have kids; I collect records. But other than that I'm all about having a beautiful goddess who is going to hook me up with a hot chick. Yamato is the soul and spirit of Japan. And once again another Japanese god with a cool name. I imagine Yamato as a slender guy in a black trench coat and wearing sunglasses. In my mind he's a quiet guy. He always looks as if he's deep in thought and shouldn't be bothered but he has time for a smile, a point, and a head nod if you are walking past and say hi. That would be a really cool spirit of a country. I mean the spirit of the United States is a creepy looking old guy with gray hair who's always pointing at you and saying "I want you" and his name is Sam. You call him uncle. It's weird. My vote goes to Yamato.

#3s vs #6s
Isis vs Quatzequatel -
Isis is the woman! Of all of the female deities she is my favorite. She is the perfect woman. She was a dedicated wife. I mean she was so dedicated that she brought her husband back from the dead. He got killed a second time and she was going to bring him back to life again but she couldn't find all of his parts (ahem). So she built a monument in honor of the one missing part. Hell if I ever find a woman I just hope she's dedicated enough to me to claim me when we go out in public. Isis loved poor people and rich people. She was the perfect mother and she could do magic! Good goodness, what more can you ask for in a woman? Quatzequatel. Look at that damn name. You gotta give it up for him if for nothing more than the name. This cat is so bad ass that he has two Qs in his name. And as if that wasn't a show stopper all in itself he threw a Z in the mix too. Quatzequatel is a winged serpent. So he's like part bird, part snake and part man. Gotta give it up for originality. He gets my vote mostly based on having two Qs in his name but also because of my fascination with all things Mayan.
Mother Earth vs Dionysus - Mother Earth is my pick to win it all. It would do my heart so good to see good old Mother Earth getting some love after as bad as we have treated her. I'll admit we are doing better. We recycle. We are working on using solar and wind energy instead of relying on fossil fuels. We are starting to build electric cars. There is a lot more to do but at least we're doing something. Dionysus, I'd vote for you in a heartbeat if you were up against anyone else. Dionysus is the god of wine and drunken revelry! Heck yeah! Also known a Bacchus. Gotta love a god who just wants you to have a good time. But Mama Earth gets my vote.
Shiva vs Mithras - Shiva is one of the big daddy gods in Hindu. I really like Shiva because a lot of times Shiva is presented as dancing on the demon of ignorance. Dancing on the demon of ignorance! Heck yeah! Mithras there is something so suspect about you. You were secretly worshiped and there are no scriptures written down about you. And your story sounds a lot like Jesus...What? You were first? Oh! I didn't know that. Ok...well that's impressive but that's still not enough to stop me from voting for Shiva.
Ra vs Nayru - Another one of my favorite gods right here. Ra. Now as names go it's short and to the point. Ra sounds like "Don't fuck with me. I'm busy." Like Thor. One syllable and sounds powerful. Ra even shorter sounds like the noise you make when you want to scare somebody. He is the sun god and a sun god I can trust cuz there is a lot of sun in Egypt. He has the head of a falcon which is pretty cool. And being from Egypt you get all the cool stuff that comes with being an Egyptian god, like a staff and an ankh, your name in hieroglyphics and such. Now, Nayru. Nerds everywhere are laughing to themselves right now over this match up cuz I put in a little - nudge nudge wink wink- to the gamers with Nayru. Nayru is the goddess of wisdom in the Legend of Zelda games. Her and her two sisters are the most powerful and important characters in the game. Ra gets my vote.

#4s vs #5s

Athena vs Pan - Athena was the warriors' goddess. She was pretty much the goddess of Athens but she was know as the goddess of warfare, strength, and strategy amongst other things. Hell, her followers built the Parthenon in her honor so she must have been something special. Pan is the god of the fields and the forests. Pan is another one of those gods known for getting laid. Greek gods get it the hell on. Now a days gods are all pure and kinda boring in the sex department. Plus Pan has a flute named after him. I'm voting for Pan.

Osiris vs Apollo - I like both of these gods. I have a tattoo of a mummified Osiris on my left shoulder. And in my mind when I think of Apollo I always think of him as Carl Weathers. I know it's ridiculous but that's how my head works. But like I said, I have a tattoo on Osiris so he gets my vote.

Coyote vs Ganesha - Two more of my favorites right here. Amongst the Native Americans Coyote is the trickster god. He is going to put you through some messed up stuff but there is point and a purpose. It may damn near kill you and everyone around you if you get caught up in a Coyote tale but if you could distance yourself from it, it's funny stuff. Then on the complete opposite end of the spectrum there is the loved by everyone deity, Ganesha. Ganesha is known as the remover of obstacles. But his most interesting attribute? He has the head of an elephant. If I have to pick between these two I have to go with Coyote. While I can find Coyote's stories sometimes a bit scary, I have to say that my twisted sense of humor finds them also very entertaining.

Poseidon vs Anubis - Poseidon is Zeus's brother and in general kinda pissed off all of the time cuz he got the raw end of the deal when his brothers started splitting up the Earth. He got water. He's easily agitated so you better keep him calm. You don't want him to stir up a storm and wipe out your land. I love Anubis. He's got the head of a dog. A Jackal really. He's the god of the afterlife. I imagine Anubis is very quiet. Not much for words but when he does speak it is probably stern in a quiet sort of way. You know he means business. Anubis gets my vote.

And there's round 1.

It looks like we will be replacing Porn Stars with Cereal. That should be lots of fun.

See you tomorrow for Round 2.


Saturday, July 18, 2009

Blogs Around Town features Coffee Cake this week

Blogs Around Town has us featured in their Blogs Showcase this week and I have to say, not only is it an honor but we're in some pretty good company. Also featured are, one of my local buddies, Keith Watson and the Macon State Library. Then down at the bottom of the page is Rolling Stones keyboardist and friend of the ecosystem, Chuck Leavell.
And not only are we featured but we have a perfect 5 Star rating! Thank you to all who voted to give us that great rating and thank you to Blogs Around Town.

We should be ready to vote on the Gods tournament around noon.

See you then.

An early look at the Gods/Goddesses bracket

I figured you all might want to look at this and start planning out who you were going to vote for. There are quite a few really good first round matches.
My favorite to win? Mother Earth.
Can't wait for the voting to start.
See you tomorrow.

And The Winner Is...

Like there was ever any doubt who was going to win this one. eBaum's World! Congratulations to eBaum's World and all of it's readers. eBaum's World now moves on to The Extravaganza where it will face off against all of the winners.

Now, to make sure you get your voting fix this weekend, I have a little poll for you. I am considering changing one of our upcoming categories. I was going to do porn stars but now I feel that would be inappropriate. So instead of porn stars we can do Cereal, Crazy Musicians, Cutest TV Couples, or if you all have any suggestions I am open to hear them.

Other than that, I will see you all Sunday for Round 1 of the Gods tournament.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Websites/Blogs - Round 5 (The Finals)

I'm on top of things tonight! Yeah that's right. I put myself on punishment for my behavior yesterday. I couldn't leave the house until I had the update done. Didn't really matter. I didn't want to leave anyway. My plans are to stay in tonight and watch TV. I have Avatar: The Last Airbender, Farscape, and Freaks and Geeks
on my DVDs To Watch List tonight. All of them are great shows, I suggest you watch them if you are bored and looking to just veg out on the couch.

YouTube vs eBaum's World- So how about this final, huh? The Battle Of The Video Clips. The fight to be the king of the streams. We know the majority of the people voting this week are video junkies because look who they voted to be in the finals. Number 1 contender YouTube vs the underdog upstart eBaum's World. Will once solid loyalties be split? Will videos on aluminum foil play a major role in deciding the winner? How does Detroit factor into all of this? How will dancing robots make the world a better place? All of these questions and more will be answered when you cast your vote.
My vote is going to eBaum's world.

I'd like to thank all of the websites and blogs that joined in on the fun this week. It has been a pleasure reading you all. I'd like to thank all of our new readers who joined us this week.

I'd also like to say that in researching for this tournament, I ran across several wonderful blogs and websites that I just felt weren't right for the tournament but I'd like to share them with you now. Here's my list of this week's honorable mentions.

There I Fixed It
The Pinky Show
Blame It On Steinski
The Wind In Your Vagina
Group Hug
F My Life
And countless free porn sites.

Well, there you have it folks. I'll see you next week. Next's week's tournament will be "Gods". It should be divine. And just so you can get your weekend voting fix, I'm going to have a special weekend vote that I will tell you more about after the voting is done Friday night.


Websites/Blogs - Round 4 (The Final Four)

Remember when I said I live the life of a rock star here in Macon, GA? Well I had one of those nights last night. I left the house to have a couple of drinks with a friend and talk over some business ideas. Then my friend Jennifer called me and convinced me to stay until she got there and the next thing I knew I was caught up in "Drag Queen Bingo". Yep, it's just like it sounds. A drag queen, Deonna Sage, is standing on stage saying, "B-5...B-5". To be honest it's a lot of fun but I was trying to do my best to be a good little boy and go home. I headed out and got about 20 steps from The Hummingbird when I see Gary and Carla Schechterle, the owners of Lemongrass, a new Thai restaurant in downtown. I sat down to chat with them and Gary says, "Let me buy you a drink." He gets me a cocktail called "Thailand In A Glass". The drink was so good I got jealous. When I was a bartender, I came up with some pretty good drinks but I had never created anything like that. This drink had Van Gogh Vodka, Coconut Rum and it was infused with lemongrass, kaffir lime leaves, and chili peppers. MARVELOUS!!! Let me tell you all that I am a cowboy kind of drinker. Give me a beer and a shot of whiskey. My idea of a good cocktail is a Jack Daniels with a splash of ginger-ale. However, this Thailand In A Glass was so good I took my time, sipping it and just enjoying chatting with Gary and Carla and their chef, Tom, about the state of Macon and its downtown businesses. Then Gary, being a very generous host, says, "You've got to try the Tod Man Gai," and runs inside to order some. What comes out was three ground chicken patties with curry paste, kaffir lime leaves, sweet onions and a bottle of the chef's own personal hot sauce. The flavor was incredible. I didn't want to seem like a leech so I ordered another cocktail and then once again Gary says, "You've gotta try the basil roll." Now Thai basil is not like the basil you use in your spaghetti sauce. Thai basil has a slight licorice taste. So this roll had shrimp and vegetables wrapped in rice paper and this ever so slight licorice taste floating around it all. Needless to say I had a wonderful time sitting there outside of Lemongrass. But that's not where I got drunk. I made the mistake of going back in The Hummingbird because I was hearing rumblings of a band that had begun playing that was really good. I drank three beers while I listened to Miss Tess & The Bon Ton Parade. The rumors had been true. They were a fantastic ode to 40s Jazz. Miss Tess's voice and guitar playing were more than I could have asked for on such a lovely Wednesday night in downtown Macon. When they stepped off the stage, I stepped out the door and started my walk home. My head was spinning but I was happy.

Enough of my shenanigans, right? Let's talk about this fantastic Final Four match up we have going on here. But before we get started I have to say that I am going to miss Cinematical. They put up such a good fight yesterday but Craigslist kept them just out of reach of the win. However, Cinematical, you've made a friend and a fan for life in me and I am sure I'll be using you to help me research some of the other tournaments that are coming up like, Famous Robots, TV/Movie Badasses, and Movie Monsters.

(1) YouTube vs (2) Craiglist - YouTube has grown on me lately. Especially since I have been doing Coffee Cake. I make quick little links to it when I find something related to what I am talking about. On Facebook I use it to tell people what disco songs I'm grooving around the house to. I use it as an instructional video for the ladies on why you should be gentle with me. Then there was the 3 weeks where I couldn't stop watching these Japanese shows from production team, Downtown called "Don't Laugh..." My favorite was "Don't Laugh High School" but they were all very good. Then there's the stuff like this that shouldn't hold my attention for as long as it does but for some reason it appeals to my very odd sense of fascination.
Craigslist. Up your's. I need a job and you aren't helping. My vote goes to YouTube.

(1) Facebook vs (4) eBaum's World - Facebook has done a lot for me lately. I found out my little cousin ain't so little no more. He's grown into a good looking young man and quite a talented rapper. I've also found out that his father has apparently turned into a South Park character. Facebook helped me get Coffee Cake off the ground. And Facebook helped me find my old friend Wendy who, I found out through Facebook, will shoot you if you break in her house. She ain't playing. But as a person who enjoys the stakes of gambling, I know that you never pass up a sure shot. So my money is on eBaum's World. You'd have to be crazy at this point not to vote for them. They've been blowing out their matches for the past two days now. Someone call my bookie in Vegas. I can easily make back the money I lost on that Chocolate Chip Cookies vs Grilled Cheese match.

Thanks for being patient with my drunk ass.

Here's The Updated Bracket....

I'll get you all ready so you can start voting on Round 4 but I'll save my commentary till I wake up from a brief nap.

Dear Readers,

I am drunk. So let me rest a couple of hours and I will have Round 4 ready to roll about 5am. I'll also tell you the story of how I got so drunk.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Now that's what I'm talking about!

It's moments like this that make being a part of Coffee Cake so much fun. When I left for lunch Cinematical was down by about 200 votes. I come back a few hours later and Lordamercy, if they haven't pulled within 30 votes of tying it up. They do a great job of getting the word out and their supporters are some of the best around.
But you know who else has some great supporters? eBaum's World. Their supporters come in droves and make their favorites known!

Do I see a Cinematical vs eBaum's World match-up shaping up for the finals? It could happen.

Keep up the good work folks.


Cinematical and The Onion fight back!

Ok folks. I know we all want our favorite websites to win but it ain't no fun if it's just going to be a blow out in every category. Take some time to look at some of the other websites. You might find something just as addictive as your favorite. The Onion is full of great stories that make fun of the way newspapers can make reading so boring. They also have a great way of making your boring life seem like a funny news story. And for the record, we know you don't get laid cuz you spend too much time in front of the computer. Heard of the phrase, "laugh to keep from crying"? Read some of these and laugh at them to keep from crying at your sex life.
And Cinematical keeps you up to date with everything that happens in the world of movies and more. You know damn well your nerdy-ass can't wait to go see Harry Potter this weekend. I know I can't. Well wouldn't it be cool if you could win some Harry Potter schwag to make the weekend even better? And what's with all these old bootleg Harry Potter movies dropping around the same time? My girl Elisabeth Rappe got the scoop on that, homey.

So get out there and click on some links! Read something different. Enjoy life.
Go outside and play. Hell go talk to a girl (and I don't mean online either).

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Websites/Blogs - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)

Well round 2 had a huge number of voters turn out to support but only one upset and that was first round powerhouse Cinematical just edging by Twitter. Here's hoping Cinematical has enough steam to make through another round. Even Destructoid who looked poised to win couldn't hold on to the lead in the later hours of the voting. And sadly I have to say good bye to one of my favorites, Soul-Sides. Soul-Sides gave it all they had and they should be proud of their performance. Now let's look at the Round 3 match-ups.

(1) Facebook vs (2) The Onion - Facebook is the mack-daddy of the social networking sites right now. I basically know everything that is happening in my town through what I read on Facebook. I have to admit that Coffee Cake wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Facebook. All of my friends started reading it because they saw it on Facebook first. Plus Face book has the English (Pirate) language option. But The Onion is so much fun to read. Those stories take satire to a whole new level. And reall, who else could come up with a story like this? I'm going to vote for The Onion.

(1) eBay vs (4) eBaum's World - It's the battle of the lowercase "e's" and capital "B's". eBay, I want to know why when I type in "Party Mix" so many results for wigs come back but no Chex Mix? How can I throw a party without Chex Mix? Oh eBaum's world. Just when I get sick of your often immature humor you give me something like this that does indeed prove that fart jokes can be VERY funny. My vote goes with eBaum's World.

(2) Craigslist vs (6) Cinematical - Craigslist is a wonderful and entertaining resource when you live in a real city. I, however, live in Macon. Craigslist does have it's moments but here in Macon there are just a lot of pick-up trucks for sale. But look at Cinematical being a #6 and still hanging in there. Cinematical, you have a tough road ahead of you but I think you can do it. And if there is one thing I can say about Cinematical it's that there are lots of pictures of hot women on this site. You get my vote.

(1) YouTube vs (2)IMDb - I'm a cartoon fanatic. And I love all types. I like anime, I like 80s cartoons. I recently fell in love with Avatar: The Last Air Bender. I like really obscure stuff that no body else remembers. So when I found this, I then began to take YouTube a little bit more serious. And IMDb. I'm sorry IMDb but this is where our love affair ends. I'm just not that into movies. My vote goes with YouTube.


Monday, July 13, 2009

Websites/Blogs - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)

This was an amazing first round. There was drama. There were close races. There were miraculous wins! And there were fabulous blow outs. I knew it was going to be good when the supporters of Destructoid started showing up in droves to vote for their favorite gaming website when word went out that they were up against Perez Hilton. And while speaking on the big daddy of gossip blogs, not a one of the 3 celebrity gossip blogs made it into the 2nd round. I was shocked by that. The biggest upset of the day was Soul-Sides taking down the mighty Myspace!! Good music prevails once more, just going to show that music IS universal. And speaking of music, the disappointment of the day for me was of course my favorite, Fuck You Penguin being taken down by Pandora. The biggest match up? Is there any doubt that Cinematical meant BUSINESS!! I got an email from Big Daddy Scott Weinberg saying he wasn't sure how they would fare going up against a power house like Best Week Ever but that he was going to put his Special Forces Secret Agent Ninja, Elisabeth Rappe (I hope I didn't just blow her cover) on the job, and boy did she ever come through. Cinematical was pulling up the rear through the first half of the day but exploded in the afternoon and never looked back. Let's look at the round 2 match-ups.

(1) Facebook vs (3)Pandora - Pandora has been turning folks on to music for years now. And I am all about anyone who is helping to expand minds. Especially in the case of music, but...

...Pandora knocked out my favorite, FU Penguin, in the first round. Now I normally don't hold a grudge over these match-ups (excluding the whole Chocolate Chip Cookies vs Grilled Cheese Sandwich thing for those who were around for that.) but this time I am holding a grudge. Pandora you are going down this round to Facebook!! Facebook has been a huge help to getting Coffee Cake off the ground. Facebook keeps us in touch with our friends from school (like it was originally intended) and our family members. It also keeps us connected to what is going on with every facet of the world, be it entertainment, news, local happenings or national. Facebook gets my vote.
(2) The Onion vs (5) Fail Blog - Fail Blog dominated its first round match only to end up against a juggernaut in The Onion. The Onion is so good at making us laugh that it somehow managed to do it even when we weren't sure how we should be acting right after 9/11. But I have to say, Fail Blog shows us how ridiculous real life can be sometimes. This is a really tough match up to decide who to vote for for me. I have wasted hours looking and reading both. But when it comes down to the wire. I've got to go with The Onion.
(1) eBay vs (3) Huffington Post - I have made my fair share of money selling some pretty lame items on eBay. I've also been entertained by many of an item that makes me wonder how anyone ended up with something as weird as that and why they would think anyone else would want it. Meanwhile, the Huffington Post is the online leader in in getting the news that matters to the people. The old printed news format just isn't working anymore. So what do we do? We can't go around uninformed. Thank god The Huffington Post saw the future of news reporting. Go on Huff! You got my vote. Keep us reading.
(4) eBaum's World vs (7) Soul-Sides - What is it about eBaum's world that instantly turns me into a person that loves frat kid humor? Sad to say though, our frat kids in Macon are nowhere near that creative. They just get drunk and throw up in my yard. That being said, I'm just going to go ahead an say right now that I am voting for Soul-Sides. There is no such thing as too much good music and this site has a-plenty to share.
(1) Twitter vs (6) Cinematical - Twitter makes stuff happen. It's a short, sweet and to the point message. Heck it played a huge role in getting people out to vote for the first round yesterday. But I know a sure shot when I see one and I'd have to be a sucker not to take the #6 upset in this match-up. Cinematical has already shown that they intend to get deep in this tournament. I mean, what can I say that they didn't already say right there? Cinematical gets the vote from me.
(2) Craigslist vs (4) I Can Has Cheezeburger - Craigslist has taken the place of eBay as the spot we go to to find anything. You can find anything from the beautiful to the ridiculous. A car... or a date. A rant or a rave. Or.... a skunk...if that's what you are looking for. Who am I to judge? I Can Has Ceezeburger has really cute cats talking messed up and just being CUTE!! What more do I have to say? I Can Has Cheezeburger gets my vote.
(1) YouTube vs (6) Destructoid - I'm going to be honest. YouTube has never done a whole lot for me. I mean it's great and all but I never spent huge amounts of time on it. I always found what I was looking for in other places. But YouTube does have this. And I mean...that's pretty damn good. Wanna keep my attention? Well, show me old Muppet clips. Or this. You can't help but be happy after seeing that. I am going to tell you another secret. I'm no good at video games. The only games I was ever good at were 80s arcade games like Tempest, Tron, and Star Wars and the only home gaming system I was ever any good at was the Atari 2600. But I know a winner when I see one and my vote goes with Destructoid.
(2) IMDb vs (4) Life Haker - I wonder, if there hadn't been so many movie fans voting yesterday, would IMDb have won its first round so easily. Now don't get me wrong, IMDb is a great resource. For example it is very easy to find out that the actor who played Cyrus in The Warriors was Roger Hill. Life Hacker always has something to say that is so simple but makes so much sense. But I want my prediction record to continue to look good and I am thinking the movie lovers will be back in force again. I am going with IMDb. Sorry Life Hacker.


Saturday, July 11, 2009

Websites/Blogs - Round 1

I'm really excited about this tournament. Fruit was fun but this... this tournament is going to be fun cuz there are a matches within matches. We are all here on the net. There are the behemoths who dominate the web and there are the little guys who help keep the balance. We love them both. We've seen some websites grow from little known to the biggest of the big. And we've seen some shrink down again and lose their hold at the top of the mountain. We cheer on the smaller ones and help them grow by spreading the word to our friends and readers. We always hope the best for our own. First of all let me say that this is all in the spirit of good fun and there is not one website or blog in this tournament that I don't think is absolutly great at what they do. It was so hard to give the #7 & #8 rankings out but someone had to be a 7 or an 8. There are some that hold my interests more than others, but this is not all about me. This is about me, and you, and all of us. So let's pick our favorites for whatever our reasons may be.

We all know the #1s. Facebook, Twitter, eBay, and YouTube need no introductions. But let's talk about their competitors. Facebook will be squaring off against Texts From Last Night. It's a fact that all this new technology does more to bring people closer together. We are more in touch with each other than we have ever been. Even when we are mad. And even when we are drunk. And even worse when we are mad and drunk or madly drunk. You know, you've been there before. You fire of that text message and you wake up the next morning after you've sobered up or cooled down and you say, "What was I thinking?" Well, TFLN is there to remind you exactly what you were thinking. They collect all those texts we wish we wouldn't have sent and puts them on display for everyone to see like the fat kid's underwear being run up the flag pole at camp. Oh and we can even break it down by area code. We know it was you. Who else would be wearing latex pants in Macon, huh?
Ebay is up against, Why The Fuck Do You Have A Kid. We all have had one of those moments where someone tells you, "Such and such is pregnant." And without heistation we reply, "OhmygodIfeelsosorryforthatbaby." Well WTFDYHAK takes that and multiplies it by something that could only be some imaginary number some kid made up. And it's pretty funny until something hits a little too close to home. Reminds you of a family member or a friend more than you want it to.
Twitter is up against the imaginary momsters of Om Nom Nom Nom. Yep, take a picture. Draw some mean looking eyes. Draw some sharp teeth and you've got an Om Nom Nom Nom monster. It's amazing how something so simple can keep you entertained for so long isn't it?
You Tube faces off against Mark Cuban's Blog Maverick. I know not everybody here is a sports fan like me, so I will let you know that Mark Cuban is the owner of the NBA's Dallas Mavericks. But this blog is only 1 part sports and the rest is all business. Think what you want about Mark Cuban, the man knows what he is doing when it comes to running a business. I love reading his insights to the world of big business.
So in the #1 vs #8 match-ups my votes go to all the #1s. I just don't see any of the #8s getting by the #1s this time.

#2s vs #7s

The Onion vs Stuff White People Like - The Onion is a mack daddy on the net. It's been a consistently funny good read for years now. We in Macon are still a little pissed about that jab you took at us a few years back (And we did find out that it was some chumps from Athens that provided that material and believe you me we've been keeping an eye on Athens ever since.) Everyone has a favorite Onion story and we all loved Herbert Kornfeld (R.I.P. big homey). The Onion is a classic website. Now, Stuff White People Like is funny but more than that I find it to be true. For example look at this. Ok, now let me tell you a story. I worked briefly for the 11th Hour here in Macon. During that time I was enjoying my reign as the coolest muthafucka in town. I dressed funky-fresh and I could wear my sunglasses at night and inside and no one would question me. Then they decided to take an office picture around Christmas time and made me wear an ugly sweater. They published that fuckin' picture in the newspaper and I was never cool again. I had to stop wearing sunglasses. I went from looking like this to looking like this. So before all of my white readers fuck up another cool man's mojo please consult this website. My vote goes to The Onion cuz I'm still bitter about the sweater. What? DAMNIT!!
Myspace vs Soul-Sides - Myspace was once the Goliath of social networking websites. Now it's falling a bit on tough times. We saw it coming though when Rupert Murdoch bought it. I can't say Myspace is all bad. The very first version of the Cofffee Cake Extravaganza started on Myspace. But Soul-Sides is a blog that speaks to that music nerd in me. The record collector. Man, O.W. knows his music. There is always a lesson to be learned and some good music to play while you're reading this site. Without a doubt my vote goes to Soul-Sides.
Craigslist vs Top Tenz - Craigslist, you have some stuff that makes me laugh like hell. Like I'm addicted to the Missed Connections here in Macon. Macon is a really small when it all boils down and in the back of my mind I know I probably know some of these people. But Craigslist I have one serious problem with you. I'm unemployed and most of your job listings in Macon seem to be some sort of scam. That and the fact that no one has ever missed a connection with me. That seems like the least you can do after having led me on with so many false job offers. Top Tenz is a website after my own heart. If you've known me for long you know I love to do lists. Especially Top 5s and Top 10s. Recently I did a list of my Top Ten Manly Sad Songs. And let's be honest Coffee Cake is really a big Top 32 list. So I think Top Tenz may be Coffee Cake's long lost sister website. I mean check it out. How nerdy cool can you get when you do a top ten list of greatest spies? Or how about the top 10 Outrageous Comic Book Advertisements? Those ads were some of the best things about comic books as a kid. My imagination ran wild while I read those ads. Top Tenz get my vote.
IMDb vs Waiter Rant - Movie lovers seem to take up a good portion of my life now-a-days. My good friends Kelly and Aaron are both movie gurus and have heads full of movie facts like I have a head full of music facts. In fact I was reminded earlier today that Aaron could play 6 degrees of separation from Angela Landsbury to Pamela Anderson and make the connection in less than 6 degrees without using porn. He somehow seems to think he can do it quicker if he uses porn. While I, on the other hand, know absolutely nothing about movies which leaves me open for getting clowned by Kelly and getting lectured by Aaron. Through them, I have learned that IMDb is an excellent resource for finding out stuff I need to know about movies and directors and actors (Which I never need to know that stuff. That's why I hang around them.) So I would like to personally thank IMDb for giving my friends something to do on the net so that they too can also proclaim their nerdyness and hold it high and proud for everyone to bear witness. Now for the rest of us, have you ever been a waiter or a bartender or held any type of job in the service industry? Well you are going to love Waiter Rant. It covers everything that happens in a restaurant from the funny to the sad. My vote goes with you Waiter Rant.

#3s vs #6s
Pandora vs Fuck You Penguin -
Well Pandora, to be honest with you, I've never used you. I know what you do and it would seem like for a music lover like me that should be right up my alley, right? Well, I have a wonderful music collection at my fingertips and just haven't ever felt the need to look into you because of it. Plus, depending on who I talk to about you, you are either the greatest thing to happen to music on the internet since the invention of the mp3 or you are the worst thing to happen to music suggestions since my friend Cedric told me I should check out Vanilla Ice. While I do have to admit there is some cool programming technology going on behind the scenes of your website, for now I just want you to continue to simmer on the back burner of my internet surfing. But Fuck You Penguin, YOU are my pride and joy in this tournament. I am putting all of my chips on the table for you! I honestly added this category to The Extravaganza so that I could have you in it somewhere. I was introduced to you by Priscilla and I haven't been able to stop reading you since. I hung out with a girl who once shook her fist and cussed at a beaver since she felt like the beaver was acting like it was too good to come out of its hiding spot so she could see him. I thought it was one of the most ridiculous and yet funniest things I had ever seen. I relive that moment every week on Fuck You Penguin. This one is still my favorite. Needless to say. FU Penguin gets my vote.
The Huffington Post vs Yes But No But Yes - I like this match-up cuz in most cases I can't ever tell what is going on on either one of these sites. The Huffington Post can't seem to figure out if it is a parody/satire site or if this is serious news. But honestly, that's why I keep coming back to it. It's informative and also fun to read. No newspaper is that interesting. Now, Yes But No But Yes. The best way I can describe Yes But No But Yes is to tell you to click around. You are going to find something funny.
Best Week Ever vs Cinematical - Best Week Ever is always funny. Thank you for this one Best Week Ever. Some of you may know that I have taken a hiatus from playing live shows in Macon. Some folks don't understand why I would do this. Allow me to explain. You know how many times I have had stupid sorority girls come up to me and ask me to play Journey in the middle of my set? Hi, I'm Roger Riddle. I'm the guy who just told you to start reading the Soul-Sides website. I thought we'd met before. How are you? Cinematical is another website for the movie freaks but this one tells all of the gossip of what movie is getting made and who's being considered to play what role. You better not mess up Green Lantern like you messed up Deadpool. Damn! Did I just say that? Kelly and Aaron are rubbing off on me. My vote goes with Best Week Ever.
Perez Hilton vs Destructoid - The name of this match-up doesn't bode well for Perez Hilton. I know I wouldn't want to be stepping into a boxing ring against an opponent name Destructoid. And Perez has been in some trouble lately over using gay slurs in confrontations. He better hope Destructoid doesn't have any really close gay friends and really hates gay-bashers. Oh, by the way Destructoid is a gaming website. My vote goes to Destructoid.

#4s vs #5s
TMZ vs Fail Blog -
TMZ is another celebrity gossip blog. I'm just not into celebrity gossip. I mean, I'm Roger Riddle. I am a celebrity. I don't need to live vicariously through anybody other than myself. Now Fail Blog that's my kind of gossip website. Wait...that's not a gossip website? Well good, cuz I was wondering why I found it so entertaining. Fail Blog gets the vote.
I Can Has Cheezeburger vs Pink Is The New Blog - ICHCB high jacked my brain and held it hostage for three weeks while I looked at every picture they have on the website. This one is my favorite. Yes I am a Walrus fan. You'll get your bucket back one day. Pink Is The New Blog is like the "Lite" version of celebrity gossip. All the gossip without all of the blogger drama that comes with Perez Hilton. But it's still gossip. I Can Has Cheezeburger gets my vote.
eBaum's World vs Deadspin - Now I'll give it to eBaum's World. That is a funny website. It takes talent to find and collect that much funny stuff. Deadspin is a great website if you love sports. It's like a cross between ESPN and The Onion. Funny and informative. That's how I like my sports news. Deadspin gets my vote.
Life Hacker vs Post Secret - Life Hacker teaches you how to do a bootleg job on all the little everyday things that annoy you. Then there are something on there that make you wonder, why would I ever need to know this? And if you're like me you try to imagine yourself in a situation where you would put this trick to use and the outcome is never good. Post Secret is addictive. People write a secret on a post card and mail it in. But what really gets me is how well the art on the post card goes with what they are saying. Sometimes it's sad. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's scary. But I honestly think it's beautiful stuff. Post Secret gets my vote.

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