Thursday, September 17, 2009

My apologies Coffee Cake

It's been quite a while since I've been able to get Coffee Cake updated. I am still without an internet connection. I am working to get that rectified but it may be another week before we are back on the air. Stay tuned.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Movies - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)

While I have this handy dandy internet connection I'd like to say a few words.

Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike.
Ancient Chinese secret.
Call Roto-Rooter, that's the name and away those problems down the drain.

...

Hmmmph. I better say something coherent too while I'm at it.

First and foremost Star Wars WILL beat The Godfather. Han Solo would make short work of Don Corleone. That wouldn't be the first time he had a big time mobster after him. Remeber Jabba the Hut?

I don't care how tough Rocky was. He can call himself the Italian Stallion all he wants. He is not a horse he is a short little man. Simba is a real animal. Well he's animated but still he was a fucking lion. And doesn't the name Simba sound like someone who would fight in the UFC? Hakuna Matata? Oh no Rocky. Be worried. Be worried.

So, Dorothy...what's worse? Being captured by some green bitch or sharing a cell with Bertha? Tough one isn't it? So...Andy Dufresne. Why didn't you have a picture of Judy Garland on your wall? She was hot too. What? You too good? Yeah, the other side of that poster wasn't exactly Oz but while you were in prison you had a scarecrow (Red) a heartless tin man (Warden Norton) and a cowardly lion (Brooks). I don't remeber you ever getting high off poppies but that was a very creepy scene anyway and you had enough awkward moments on your own. Good luck buddy.

Ok look. The funniest thing about this match-up is in one film the bad guy is a demon. You know, a straight up, straight from hell for one engagement only demon. That's the scary shit. The bad guy in the other movie is Jesus...in a purple jumpsuit...licking a bowling ball!! THAT SHIT IS REALLY SCARY!!

Alrighty folks. I'll be back to update when I can. Thanks for being patient.

Later
The Rog

Technical Difficulties - Please forgive me.

So I bet you're wondering what's going on. Well I've lost my internet connection and it has yet to come back. So the updates may be a little sporadic until I get it straightened out.

First thing I'll do is fix this tie between Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Oh my god!!

That was intense!! Raiders was down by one vote with a minute of voting left and pulled ahead by 1 vote to win it in the final seconds!!

Fantastic work for all the Raiders voters. High fives all around.

We have a tie!!

Sudden death overtime!!

Raiders Of The Lost Ark vs The Goonies. Recast your votes. We have 30 mins in overtime.

GO!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Movies - Round 1


So I gave round 1 an extra day of voting because I know a lot of people do Coffee Cake at work and many of us had Monday off from work. Not me however, I was still slinging drinks at BJ's.

So let's look at some of the matches.
The #1s will all easily move on. But the #8s are all some of my favorites. Plan 9 From Outer Space is considered by most to be the worst movie ever made. The Five Deadly Venoms is my all time favorite Kung-Fu movie. The Shaw Brothers really put it down on this one. The Warriors is another cult movie that I love as I am always making references on Coffee Cake to Sirus's speech at the beginning of the movie. And Attack of the Killer Tomatoes...come on. That name speaks for itself.

Rocky vs Psycho - What if these two movies were combined. Do you think Norman Bates would have sliced up Balboa or do you think Rocky would have whooped up on him? Maybe Rocky was using the Bates motel as a training facility and the shower scene would have had Adrian in it. She would have just passed out when she saw Norman Bates and drowned. He never would have needed the knife.

Continuing on the if these movies were combined theme if Star Wars and Plan 9 were combined it would be called Episodes I, II, and III.

Grease vs Breakfast At Tiffany's - I have a big ol' soft spot for Grease. I saw it back when it was originally released in New York City as a Double Feature with Star Wars. I was no older than 3 but it stuck with me. So if Grease were combined with Breakfast At Tiffany's, the high school romance never happened and Sandra Dee grew up to become Holly Golightly. Living the good live. Danny Zucko was working in a garage and one day he would decide to pursue the woman who is now way out of his league. To explain his feelings he would sing Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl".

Raiders of the Lost Ark vs The Goonies - If these two were combined wouldn't it be called Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom?

Silence of the Lambs vs Amelie - That creepy guy that sat in the corner of the cafe stalking the waitress would turn out to be a serial killer. However since the movie would be in French it would be the most romantic murders ever seen.

The Godfather vs Rocky Horror - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Can't you just see Marlon Brando in fishnet stockings and platform heels? So the Don of the mob is a cross-dresser. Jesus that would be a good movie. Somebody please make this spoof.

Full Metal Jacket vs The Big Lebowski - This would be a boring film if the two combined. The Dude would be Private Pyle. And after getting yelled at in boot camp the Dude would say fuck this and go AWOL to never be seen again.

Forrest Gump vs Pee-Wee's Big Adventure - Oddly, don't you think if these two combined it would still be Forrest Gump? He'd just have a really odd laugh. And there would be a dance scene. But everything else would stay pretty much the same.

Stand By Me vs Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory - The kids would find a dead body in the factory and we would learn that Willy Wonka was the creepy mass murderer that we always suspected he was.

So...I'll leave it at that for Round 1. I'll see you all tomorrow.

Roger
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Friday, September 4, 2009

Humanitarians/Activists - Round 5 (The Finals)


This match speaks for itself. The two greatest activists for peace. The people's champions. Martin Luther King vs Gandhi. It gets no better. Who's gonna move on to The Extravaganza?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Humanitarians/Activists - Round 4 (The Final Four)


Wow! I can't believe it!! For the first time ever all four #1s made it to the Final Four! Susan B. Anthony pulled off a great comeback in the last minutes of voting to beat Jimmy Carter and more on to the semi-finals. So this means there will be a #1 vs #1 in the finals. It's getting good y'all.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Humanitarians/Activists - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)

This is why I love The Elite Eight. Look at these matches. For the first time ever it's all #1s vs #2s. Could we have all #1s in the Final Four? Quite possible but I think Jimmy Carter can take Susan B. Anthony. At any rate. The Final Four will be mucho interesting.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Humanitarians/Activists - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)


Right off the bat let me ask you all something. Where the hell is Meansville, Georgia? Someone comes to Coffee Cake everyday from Meansville and I have to say based on the name it is not high on my list of places to visit. Someone please tell me that Meansville is actually a pleasant place.

Here's another question for you all. What are some of your favorite charities? Let's throw some light on the places we think are good for our community. I've already mentioned that I am a big fan of the 826 programs, and I also love Macon's Children's Museum. Where do you donate your time and/or dollars?

Now, on to the tournament.

Martin Luther King, Jr. vs Gloria Steinem - Poor Gloria Steinem. She beat a hearty sea mn in the 1st round only to have to go up against the mack daddy of humanitarians in the 2nd round. Gloria Steinem has been at the forefront of women's rights and equality movements since the 60s and normally when you've done as much work as she has to make the world a better place you've got it made. But in this case, Martin Luther the King sits at the right hand of Jesus in heaven. Like I said, poor Gloria Steinem.

Nelson Mandela vs Princess Diana - I'm sure we are all familiar with the work Nelson Mandela has done so let's look at Princess Di. Diana was a busy woman. She played a huge role in changing the way people thought about AIDS and HIV patients, being the first celebrity to be photographed touching an HIV patient. Diana was view by so many as almost a living saint that "hell if she can touch a person with HIV, I sure as hell can too," must have been what people thought when they saw that picture. She played a huge role in The International Campaign To Ban Landmines which went on to win a Nobel Peace Prize after her death. At the little bit I mentioned here didn't even scratch the surface. Princess Diana was truly a lady. Does she have what it takes to get past Mandela? That's up to you.

Mother Teresa vs Elie Weisel - You know how every now and then we have a match up that makes you say, "Oooooo...that ain't fair." That's how I feel about this one. I was introduced to Elie Weisel not long ago by my buddy Kelly. She bought me a copy of his book, "Night". I started reading it and read it all in one day. Night is his story of holocaust survival. He made it through all of the worst of the holocaust. Lost his entire family. It was a gut wrenching and even moreso, a mind bending thing to read. You start saying, "How can anyone be so cruel." The work that Elie Weisel has done to make all people equal is beyond compare. Mother Teresa we all know about her work with the poor and the sick, disadvantaged children and many others. No one more deserves the title Mother more than her. This is a tough pick.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Humanitarians/Activists - Round 1


Our buddy Nat said it best. It's almost unfair when we do more serious tournaments. I agree I get to cut loose when I don't have to worry about stepping on anyone's toes. And to be honest we are all still learning how this website works. This is our 11th tournament. So we have only been doing these for two and a half months.
I know, crazy right? Seems like so much longer. And as much as I love to get silly, sometimes I admit I use this to throw light on things that I love and this is one of those tournaments. This was really supposed to come after a Porn Stars tournament. I was going to use Humanitarians as a way of redeeming myself for being so nasty. However, once the number of readers started growing, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So we did cereal instead, which turned out to be much more fun than Porn Stars could have ever been.

So how to handle Humanitarians and Activists. I think it's funny that most of the people on this list are there for their non-violence stance so it would be funny if they actually came to fisticuffs. I am gonna do a little bit of "What if they did really fight." And I'm also gonna shed some light on the great work they've done.

Ready? Let's do it.

Martin Luther King vs Angelina Jolie - What would it take for Dr. King to get mad enough to punch Angelina Jolie in the face? What if she tried to do a hostile takeover on one of his children. 'I'M ADOPTING YOUR KIDS AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT DR. KING!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Yeah I bet he'd go fucking nuts on her then. Don't mess with a man's family. And I bet Dr. King would be the type of fighter who would talk while he whooped your ass. Imagine getting a speech on why what you are doing is wrong in Dr. King's voice while getting beat down. Bet you won't do that again. Really though, we all know what Dr. King has done but did you know that Angelina Jolie is a United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees Goodwill Ambassador? We make fun of her super baby adopting abilities but she is out there making a difference in the world. Keep on girl. Do ya thing.

Mother Teresa vs Al Gore - Al Gore would be all cocky like, "I'ma beat this old lady's ass. Where's my agent? Can't you all set me up some better fights?" Then he'd punch her a couple of times and be all confident that the match is in the bag when all of a sudden she'd start glowing. That's right. Mama T is a saint! She's got the power of the heavenly hosts backing her up. Boom. Al didn't know what hit him. They'd be picking him up off the mat and waving the smelling salts in front of his face. He'd be coming to saying shit like, "I bet y'all didn't know you could change the language on Facebook to English (Pirate) did you? I created that. In fact I created Facebook... And Twitter." On the real though, since Al Gore has gotten out of office he has been active on environmental issues and is doing what he can to promote clean, renewable energy.

Mahatma Gandhi vs Audrey Hepburn - I actually think that Audrey Hepburn would beat Gandhi in a fight. I can just imagine Audrey Hepburn spazzing out and flailing all her limbs, kicking and hitting Gandhi with her purse. I see Gandhi just laying down and curling up in the fetal position. Then Hepburn would say, "Take that daaahling." And then she'd light a cigarette. That doesn't mean I'm voting for Audrey Hepburn. That'd just be ridiculous. I do have to give it up for Hepburn though because she was a Goodwill Ambassador for UNICEF, helping put in place programs in countries all over the world that would make better living conditions for children.

Susan B. Anthony vs Bill and Melinda Gates -I don't imagine Bill and Melinda Gates can fight. Susan B. Anthony came up in an era when people just had to be a bit tougher than we are today just to survive. I mean look at her. That woman can beat my ass. I'm sure she could put an ass whooping on some geek and his wife. Well...that is until Bill Gates reaches into his utility belt and pulls out some great fighting gadgets that renders Suzie B. unconscious. Think about it, Bill Gates has got to have the world's greatest gadgets. And you know he can't fight! Of course he's gonna have some gadgets for self defense. But all that aside, I'm voting for Susan B. Anthony. However, if you don't know about the great work the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is doing, you need to take a look.

Nelson Mandela vs Jane Goodall - In a physical match up this just doesn't seem fair at all. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison under horrible conditions. That makes you tough. Jane Goodall spent her time in the jungle charming animals. That makes you...something. I don't really think it makes you tough. In a fist fight my money is definitely on Mandela. And my vote in this match goes to Mandela. That he spent 27 years in prison on some trumped up political charges and came out still as driven and compassionate as he did is a testament to the will of humankind. That is spirit everyone of us could use a daily does of. Now don't get me wrong Jane Goodall does some great work in the way of animal rights. Really what better spokesperson for animal rights can you have than her. And her Roots and Shoots organization is a beautiful group that gets children involved in making the world a better place. But I am sorry my friend. Mandel gets my vote on this one.

Jimmy Carter vs Eleanor Roosevelt - I think this match would come to a draw in a physical fight. I have just never viewed Jimmy Carter as a fighter and Eleanor Roosevelt just doesn't seem like the type to throw a punch. I think these two would play the dozens. "Jimmy, you are so country, your school fight song was Dueling Banjos."
"Eleanor, you so ugly when we played peek-a-boo first you peeked and then I boooed. I could talk about yer ugly ass all night."
"Well, there is no end to the country I have lined up for your backside."
It could go on for days.
But on the real these two people should be put in the Humanitarian Hall of Fame. Eleanor Roosevelt could have just sat back and lived the social life of a politician's wife but she got out there and worked with the Women's Trade Union League and was instrumental in helping them raise funds for the abolition of child labor,. SHe helped them get a set minimum wage. Once she got in the White House she was very out spoken on civil rights and even set up a concert on the step of The Lincoln Memorial for Marian Anderson when she was denied the opportunity to sing at Constitution Hall. Jimmy Carter's work with Habitat for Humanity speaks for itself. Think about not having a place to live. Then think about the pride that comes with owning a home and even more so the pride you get from saying, "I built this muthafucka with my bare hands." That's not just putting a person in a home, that's making them a better person. My vote goes to Jimmy Carter because he's a Georgia boy but I think both of these people are phenomenal individuals.

The Dalai Lama vs Oprah Winfrey - This could be an interesting fight right off hand I would say Oprah would kick the Dalai Lama's butt. She grew up poor and now lives in Chicago. That sounds like a tough woman to me. But I can see the Dalai Lama very gracefully shifting to s kung-fu stance and with very little effort having her down on the ground and immobilized without actually hurting her. Then he would smile, bow and thank her for her time. That's the kind of guy he is. He'd say, "Thank you for letting me whoop your ass," and then he'd go on about climbing a mountain so he could meditate on top. The Dalai Lama has been promoting peace and unity and coming together like no other. There has been a lot of controversy around him but there is no doubt that this man would rather see you smile that see you in pain so he teaches a doctrine that would put more people at ease. Gotta love it. We know Oprah is one of the most generous people on this planet. And with the power she holds...whoa that's a good thing. Oprah's Angel Network and Free The Children program help to make the world a better place for children here at home and abroad through building schools and educational programs, making sure the children have clean clothes and drinking water. Right on Oprah. You get my vote.

Norman Borlaug vs Dave Eggers - Dave Eggers is kind of a tough looking guy. He's not what you would expect from a writer. My first instinct is to say that someone with a name like Borlaug would make mayonnaise out of a write named eggers but I actually think Eggers may do the whipping here. (How many people got that joke?) Man, Norman Borlaug is the man. He has won the Nobel Peace Prize, The Presidential Medal of Freedom and The Congressional Gold Medal. That guy was putting in some work to do all of that. I haven't even won a pat on the back lately. His research into making sure there is enough food for everybody on Mother Earth is what gained him all of these accolades. Dave Eggers created my favorite organization. 826. 826 is a writing group for children that teaches them good solid writing skills and gets them published at a young age. Talk about building confidence in kids! One of the coolest parts of 826 is the buildings they hold the work shops in. The 826 in my home state of Michigan is headed up by the wonderful Amanda Uhle. The store front says "Robot Supply Company". You go in and there is all of these robot parts hanging on the walls. Then you hit the hidden door and BOOM you're in the room where the workshop takes place! Why wasn't there something like this for me when I was little? Some of the other places are Monster supply, Pirate supply. It's great. Dave Eggers gets my vote.

And The Winner Is...

Froot Loops!! As Sam pointed out Froot Loops pulled off an amazing come back to win the tournament with a final score of 26 - 19 over Frosted Flakes. So Froot Loops moves on to The Extravaganza. Later on today I will have the Humanitarian bracket up and ready to vote on.

See you in a bit.
Roger

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Cereal - Round 5 - The Finals


So once again you guys prove that I have no idea what I am talking about. I don't know if you know this but this is my website. Look at the top of the page. What does it say? Roger Riddle's. That's possessive. I swear you people are on somebody's Facebook page that I can't see saying, "He's voting for Rice Krispies. Let's all vote against him."
If that's the way you want to be then fine.

Couple of things I want to say before we get started on this final match up of the week.

I want to say thanks to Gary and Carla Schechterle of Lemongrass Thai Bistro. They brought me a Coffee Cake! It was a fantastic moment for me. They walked into my bar while I was working and Carla sits down with a bag. I jokingly said, "Is this for me?" and she said yes. I open it up and there is a wonder sour cream coffee cake!! Thanks again guys and dinner was delicious last night. I did everything put lick the plate when I got done.

And I want to say thanks to Natalie Charles for spreading the gospel according to Coffee Cake.

And away we go...

Frosted Flakes vs Froot Loops - Tony the Tiger says, "They're Grrrreat!" Toucan Sam says, "Follow your nose. It always knows." Tony the Tiger says, "Earn your stripes." Toucan Sam says, "Your Mama." Tony the Tiger says, "Tigers eat birds." Toucan Sam says, "Uh oh."

Well tomorrow we will be voting on the Humanitatians bracket. Who would win in a fight? Dr. Martin Luther King or Mother Teresa? Jimmy Carter or Fredrick Douglass? Oh come on. I hope that's not how you're gonna decide who wins next week (though I can think of some funny match ups to think that way about). See you tomorrow!

Riddle

Friday, August 28, 2009

Cereal - Round 4 (The Final Four)


Apparently most of you feel that since Cap'n Crunch causes a little mouth damage that you are too good to eat it. *In mocking childish voice* "This cereal cuts the roof of my mouth"..."This cereal makes my gums bleed." Waaa Waaa Waaa...Baby Cry Real Tears. Every little girl wants one for Christmas this year. SO WHAT! I won't stand for no sass in my house!! I bought that cereal and you're gonna eat it. I'd tell my kids that when I was a child and eating Cap'n Crunch I loved it bleeding mouth and all because what's a little cut in the mouth when the alternative was eating a steak that would bust out your stomach and eat your best friend. Eating food was dangerous when I was a kid. Little brats should be thankful for the technological advancements made in food since I was little.
See...that shit would scare them, they'd eat the Cap'n Crunch and they would become vegetarians. You know how much money I would save not having to buy meat?

Anyway...moving on to something that doesn't make me sound slightly insane...

Cheerios vs Froot Loops - I think you have come to the end of the line Toucan Sam. You had a good run and an appearance in the Final Four is something to be proud of. But Cheerios are gonna get nutritious all over that ass. Watch me what I say now.

Rice Krispies vs Frosted Flakes - Normally a three on one fight is just unfair and I am on the side of the disadvantaged. However, in this case Tony the Tiger is a walking, talking, IN SHAPE LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA....tiger. So not only is this cat musclebound he's a fucking tiger. And look at that name. If you ever got into a confrontation with some real life guy named Tony the Tiger you've been living your life wrong. The Mafia is after you. Now how are three little Tom Thumb muthafuckas supposed to compete with that? Their names are Snap, Crackle, and Pop. If this were a battle of the mascots I'd pick Tony the Tiger. THEY'RE GRRRRREAT!! (Just wanted to say that) But this is about the cereal. Rice Krispies always fascinated me. The noise they make just blew me away as a kid. And I still like Rice Krispies to this day. Rice Krispies get my vote.

See you tomorrow for a rare Saturday final!
Roger

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Cereal - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)


How on earth did Corn Flakes lose to Apple Jacks? Someone explain that to me.

Rice Krispies vs Apple Jacks - There is no doubt in my mind that if I sat down at a table and these two boxes were in front of me that I would choose the Rice Krispies. All I would need is a little bit of sugar, some milk and some toast and I would be a happy man.

Frosted Flakes vs Raisin Bran - Tough one for me. I love Frosted Flakes but man Raisin Bran was my shit! I know this is gonna be weird but I loved to let my Raisin Bran get soggy. I would pull my milk and let it sit. I think Raisin Bran was the only cereal that I didn't like crunchy. I think I will go with Raisin Bran on this one.

Cheerios vs Fruity Pebbles - Ok...Cheerios float. You can't sink them. No matter how hard you try. Fruity Pebbles has the best tasting cereal milk. What to do what to do. I pick the Cheerios.

Cap'n Crunch vs Froot Loops - My two childhood favorites facing off. I gotta go with the Cap'n Crunch though. I still remember that submarine I got out of the cereal box that time. You put baking powder in it and fill up the sink and the thing would rise and dive. It was so cool.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Cereal - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)


Well, I think you people really dislike me sometimes. Hey. How you doin'? I'm Roger Riddle I thought we'd met before. In fact I thought we were friends but I can tell by the fact that you assholes voted for Kix over Wheaties that we are not. Fine.
Be that way.
When you see me out in public and I turn my head and ignore you don't say nothing.
The worst part of it is my girl Priscilla from The Fabulous SoChi Life was the ring leader in this whole Kix over Wheaties thing. And to think I went out last night to Lemongrass to hang out with her and Terrell Sandefur last night at the unveiling of their signature drinks. Won't make that mistake again. Well, I will go back and drink your drinks. I'm not gonna hold what you did to me against the drinks, Priscilla.

Let's get down to business.

Corn Flakes vs Apple Jacks - Last night a debate broke out around the drinking table as Billy Dale Raye Hamlin, Jr. tried to defend the virtues of Apple Jacks to Amanda. She wasn't having it. (She and Kara also tried to tell me that I was wrong for having two hot cereals in this tournament. Jokes on you guys! I put them there just cuz I knew it would get under Amanda's skin! SO HA!! Take that! Suckas.) The whole point is that Billy would have Apple Jacks win this match. Ain't no way. Corn Flakes was one of the adult cereals that as a kid you didn't mind eating. They are simple and good. No gimmick needed. Give me a bowl and some milk and a glass of OJ and let me get down to business. I don't even know what the fuck an Apple Jack is. Sounds like something someone would use to mug you. "What happened?" ... "That fucka had an apple jack! He hit me with it and grabbed my wallet." The cereal doesn't taste like apples. How bout Cinnamon Circles? That makes more sense.

Rice Krispies vs Chex - There is a billboard on I-75 heading into Macon that says

$TRIPPER$
Need I Say More

Well, Snap Crackle and Pop...need I say more? For once I agree with Amanda on something. She said she loved Rice Krispies. You damn right. You know what I like about Chex? Chex Mix. I don't think I've ever had a bowl of Chex as a cereal. But now throw some peanuts and some melba toast in that shit and I will eat 3 or 4 bowls. I'd embarrass my date at the company Christmas party over some Chex mix. But Rice Krispies is the joint. Sorry Chex.

Frosted Flakes vs Cinnamon Toast Crunch - I'ma tell you the deal. Tony The Tiger is the best cereal Mascot. Cinnamon Toast Crunch can't get their mascots together. For a long time they didn't have one. Then they had 3 bakers. Then they fired two of the bakers and only had one. Now they are back to nothing I think. Pull your shit together Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Tony the Tiger is getting kids hyped up about going outside and playing. He is telling kids to earn their stripes!! I'm loving it. Especially after losing Wheaties in round one.

Raisin Bran vs Kix - Fuck Kix.

Cheerios vs Trix - How is it that the company's mascot can't ever get his hands on the product he is supposed to be endorsing? That doesn't make any sense to me. From these commercials all I can say is that I am not a rabbit. I am a kid. Trix are for me. Now that may work if I was a really dumb kid but the first question that pops into my mind is that the person who is selling me this product has never had them and therefore doesn't know if they taste any good. Nah. I'm not buying that. Give me those Cheerios. I've been eating them since I was two. I know I like those. You ever seen babies eating Cheerios? They are little Cheerios eating machines! Now that will sell me in a heartbeat on some cereal. Just show me a commercial of a baby going at it with some on the table in from of 'em. Plus Cheerios lower your blood pressure and your cholesterol. All types of positive stuff happens to your body when you eat Cheerios.

Fruity Pebbles vs Cocoa Puffs- Here is another mascot that does not make me want to buy the product. That bird has obviously lost his mind. He goes over the edge every time he gets even a spoonful of Cocoa Puffs. I don't know what is in those things but I sure as hell didn't plan on going crazy today. I'll pass. Now I will give it to you. Cocoa Puffs does make some really good cereal milk but in this match up, I think Fruity Pebbles makes the better cereal milk. Plus Fred and Barney are more entertaining mascots than a loony bird.

Cap'n Crunch vs Honey Bunches of Oats - As I typed that I felt a great disturbance in the force. It was like a million people suddenly gasped as they realized that they were no longer kids. Yes. The childhood sugar filled favorite vs the new now I'm grown up favorite. What are you gonna do? Bright packaging and great prizes. Sweet goodness and a sensible yet likable mascot vs lighty sweetened healthy yummy goodness!! And come on, you know you like their commercials. They always feature the people who work in their factory. What you gonna do people?

Froot Loops vs Corn Pops - I always seemed to have Froot Loops in my house. I loved this cereal. A good prize, a decent mascot, the cereal tasted good. It was my old stand by. It was to cereal what yuengling has become to me for beer. But corn pops are relatively new to me. I just recently started eating them. I had them as a kid but it was never high on my list to get. I think it was their lack of mascot. And see, their commercials were like the kids were having a nicotine fit. WHERE THE HELL ARE THE FUCKING CORN POPS! I JUST WOKE UP AND YOU KNOW I CAN'T GET STARTED UNTIL I HAVE MY POPS!! GOTTA HAVE MY POPS!
See...no...that's not my style. Toucan Sam sang songs in the trees and flew around. Much more pleasant in the morning. Froot Loops for me please.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Cereal - Round 1




I'm a day late this week with the tournament. Please forgive me. I had another run in with the Irish cop that pulled me over for walking before. This time it was a far worse confrontation. It was late on a Sunday night and I was walking home from Dan Zook's house after picking up the Home Cooked Dishes t-shirt (more news on that later). He had gotten me good and drunk and I was stumbling home. I stopped about 6 houses down from Dan's to pull myself together and a cop car rolls up. The cop jumps out the car and after asking me what I am doing out this time of night and "You're always JUST going home." Like me going home at night is a ridiculous notion. Then he pretty much told me that I had no right to be out on the street at that time of night. So he searched me and lost his shit when he found 10 blue t-shirts with tournament brackets! "What are you doing with so many shirts?" What the hell do you think I am doing with the shirts? You think I just robbed The Gap? That had to have been bewildering to him. You think a guy is robbing a car (again) and you find out he is an entrepreneur with a nice website. Jesus.
Anyway, needless to say I didn't feel like doing anything with Coffee Cake after that. I'm sorry.

So here we are!! A lot of people told me that they were excited about this tournament. Let's see what's up.

I can't see any of the #1s having a problem moving on but the #8s are so darn interesting. Kaboom was a cereal that had marshmallows and had a circus theme. I don't know why they didn't call it something like Big Top. I never quite got the Kaboom thing as a kid. I never really associated cannons with the circus. There are so many other things that come in front of cannon. However, it's mascot was a clown. Creepy looking fucker but a clown no less.
As a kid was there ever a cereal you less wanted to eat than Mueslix? Look this. Shit looks like a bunch of chopped up tree branches in a bowl. You gotta be an adult to eat that.
Fruit Brute is the cereal that always escapes me. It was in the same line with Count Choculate, Frankenberry and Boo-Berry. I always knew there was another one but I could never remember the name. Well here it is. Fruit Brute. He was like a fruit loving werewolf or something. Come to find out there was one more in that line called. Yummy Mummy. Nice name.
Total. Come on... You really like Total? The knock off Corn Flakes?I remember the commercial where you have to eat 7 bowls of something else to get the nutrition in one bowl of Total. Psssht! I'm not eating cereal for the nutrition. I'm trying to get the prize in the box. When was the last time Total have a good prize?

Before I continue on with the matches let me just say I ran across this, while putting this tournament together. And while that is a funny picture it got me to thinking. There are no female cereal mascots are there? What kinda old sexist shit is that? Yeah I mean there is Dora The Explorer cereal but I mean Dora is famous. Dora cereal falls into the same category with Mr. T cereal or Bart Simpson or Reggie Jackson. Well, Reggie Jackson didn't have a cereal. Wish he would have. He did have a candy bar. I used to love those candy bars. So listen up cereal companies cuz I know you're reading this!! I challenge you to make a female mascot for a successful cereal. Come on, it's 2009.

#2s vs #7
Rice Krispies vs Honey Comb -
Snap, Crackle and Pop were my shit back in the day! I remember back in the day Pop wasn't too bright. Then one day they became all cool and Pop had grown into himself. And I loved the cereal cuz it made noise. In any other product that would be a defect. For Rice Krispies it was a selling point. Go figure. I never liked Honey Comb when I was growing up. I tried. But there was always something about it that just didn't work for me. First of all the pieces were too big to me. You got two in your mouth and you had too much in your mouth. They seemed hard thus making them harder to chew. And then they picked up that little furry monster caveman thing that didn't speak good English and they lost me for good. My vote goes to Rice Krispies.

Wheaties vs Kix -
I was never a big sports playing person but I loved the idea of being on a box of Wheaties. My feelings were kinda hurt cuz I knew I was never going to make it on a Wheaties box for programming computers. Bruce Jenner was on that bad boy. I remember there being a special box sold in Detroit with the 1984 Tigers team on it. Mary Lou Retton was on it (she's still cute by the way) but never saw any nerds. That's ok, it didn't stop me from loving the cereal. I'd dream I was a bad ass every morning I ate it. I never ate Kix. According to the commercials kids loved it and mothers were happy that they liked it cuz it was good for them. The one thing that stopped me from getting the cereal that all of the kids were apparently loving was that there were no prizes with Kix. Yummy it may have been but that wasn't enough to make me ask for it. My vote goes to Wheaties.

Fruity Pebbles vs Alpha-Bits - Fruity Pebbles was one of those cereals that I really liked but I rarely had it. Most of the time I picked something over Fruity Pebbles which is weird cuz I loved cartoon and Fred Flintstone is the cereal's spokes person. I do have to admit that I never understood why Bareny was being such a dick trying to steal Fred's cereal and why since they were best friends Fred didn't just share. Now Alpha-Bits was fun to me. I used to like to spell words as I ate them, which means it took me a long time to eat a bowl of Alpha-Bits. I wonder how many times my mom rushed me to finish up a bowl of Alpha-Bits before I made us late? I bet that's why she stopped buying it.
was

Saturday, August 22, 2009

And The Winner Is...


A Prairie Home Companion moves on to The Extravaganza! Congratulations to Garrison Keillor and the rest if the crew from Lake Wobegon.

Next week we will be doing Cereal!! WOOP WOOP!! Get your favorite pajamas, bowl and spoon ready.
See you tomorrow.

Roger

Friday, August 21, 2009

Radio Shows - Round 5 (The Finals)


Wow that was the most exciting final four finish we've seen on Coffee Cake. Dan Patrick wins by 1 vote in regulation and Car Talk takes A Prairie Home Companion into double overtime! A Prairie Home Companion wins it by one vote!

So here we are. A Prairie Home Companion vs The Dan Patrick Show. I'm excited. I know Angel and Kim will be voting Dan Patrick. I'm voting A Prairie Home Companion. We don't know what DQ will vote. I don't know what Will is thinking about voting (hee hee...that was funny). Who's gonna move on to The Extravaganza? We will find out at 10pm tonight. See you then!

Riddle

Double Overtime!!

Here we go again. 15 Mins this time.

Wow. Sorry I am late on this. OVERTIME

We'll do an hour of overtime to break the tie between A Prairie Home Companion vs Car Talk and then move on to the finals!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Roadio Shows - Round 4 (The Final Four)


I was talking to Vic yesterday and he asked me what happened to the special edition Taco Bell Menu tournament. I told him since my CPU fan died on me I was scared the computer might really give up and I didn't want to start it and not be able to update it. I then jokingly said, "You should see how I am cooling the computer to keep it on. It looks like something from. thereifixedit.com." Then I found this on their website. Now my setup isn't as quite as bad as that. However, it is more like this. I have the window unit air conditioner on and a fan siting in front of it blowing air into the open side of the computer.
Vic said I alternative engineered it. I was a little more crude with my description of how I did it.
Hopefully I will have it fixed later on today. Big Willie from Will Was Thinking is supposed to be bringing me what he called "A Corvette cpu fan." So for all you Taco Bell fans, we will do the launch this coming Monday. Sorry for the wait on that.

So here we are at the Final Four of Radio Shows. I like the matches we have here.
A Prairie Home Companion vs Car Talk - Two of my favorite radio shows facing of against one another to make it to the finals. The great voice of Garrison Keillor vs the laughing and joking of Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers. I don't right now know which I am going to pick.

Dan Patrick vs The Rest of the Story - Dan Patrick is as good good of a sports news anchor as they come. He is a master of selling a joke with a straight face and I love that kind of humor. The Rest of the Story is classic. What can you say? Paul Harvey had us riveted to the radio every day as we listened to find out who he was telling us about. A true spinner of tales, he had us where we couldn't leave the radio until we heard the shows signature finish, "and know you know, the rest of the story."

Good luck to all of these great radio shows.

The Rog

Oh yeah, big shout out to David Boswell in Salt Lake City. What up! We see you.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Overtime!! Casey Kasem vs Car Talk

Ready y'all? I'm gonna give us an hour to recast votes for Casey Kasem and Car Talk.

Radio Shows - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)


The Elite Eight is always my favorite day on Coffee Cake. The matches seem to me to be at their best on Wednesday.
American Top 40 w/ Casey Kasem vs Car Talk - I love Car Talk. As much as I love Casey Kasem's voice Car Talk makes me laugh and I learn something useful from it every week. Plus it's about cars. I love cars.

A Prairie Home Companion vs This American Life - This is messed up right here. Two public radio heavy weights squaring off. This American Life makes you want to sit up and do something positive in the world. It's good news. We always complain that there is not enough good news. Well this American Life has it for you. A Prairie Home Companion is just fun. You laugh. You clap your hands. It's what radio used to sound like. This is a tough one for me and to be honest I can't decide yet.

The Dan Patrick Show vs Ed Schultz - Dan Patrick is the man. Nuff said.

The Rest Of The Story vs Coast To Coast AM - Coast To Coast AM has a lot of spunk to have made it this far into the tournament. It's the Cinderella of this tournament. The clock may strike 12 on it with this match. The Rest of The Story put down my favorite to win, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, in the first round and shows no sign of stopping. Who's going to come out on top on this one?
A big hello to George Knapp from Coast To Coast Am! Thanks for checking in.

Well as you can tell by how brief this update is, I am still having computer problems. Now it seems like it is bigger than just the CPU fan, looks like the mother board may be failing. This would be a fine time for a computer company to offer me a laptop to endorse *hint hint* if there are any out there reading this. I intend to have all this resolved really soon so stay tuned with us.

Thanks
Roger

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Radio Shows - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)


Wow! Quite a few upsets and two REALLY big ones as Rush Limbaugh gets taken down by a silver bullet with only one vote by The Lone Ranger. And the crazy and twisted Dr. Demento jumps all over Ryan Seacrest. This could make for an interesting 2nd Round. Let's look at todays matches.

**Please bear with me. I am having some PC troubles. Seems my CPU fan has quit on me. I'll get it fixed as quickly as I can.**

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Radio Shows - Round 1

I love radio. I probably listened to the radio more as a kid than I watched TV. It was a play land for my imagination, of which I had a plenty. Music, talk shows, comedy, drama you name I was listening. I would lay in bed late at night and mess with the tuner until I found something good. Sometimes you'd pick up stations from states away. I would listen to the pillow talk shows. They had great music and the DJ had a soothing voice (Or at least that's what I thought it was. As I got older I found out that women call that voice sexy). It would put me to sleep. I used to listen to a show hosted by Stan Freeberg that played old time radio shows like, The Shadow, The Lone Ranger, Lum and Abner and my favorite, The Damon Runyon Theater. And even now that radio is pretty lame, especially here in Macon, I still know where to find some good stuff. When I hit Atlanta I always turn to 88.5 Georgia State University's radio station. I listen to so many different shows on NPR and public radio. I use the internet to tune into the BBC. This is going to be a fun category for me so let's get started.

#1s vs #8s
We know the #1s. I mean come on. You've got to be living a pretty messed up life if you have not heard of Rush Limbaugh, Howard Stern, or Ryan Seacrest. Now I will give you A Prairie Home Companion. Maybe you haven't heard of that one. So I am going to tell you a little bit about it. A Prairie Home Companion is everything that I mentioned above that I loved about radio and a lot of things I never experienced from that era of listening. It was created and is hosted by Garrison Keillor and it is like he tried to roll all the best parts of radio into one show. There is live musical performances, comedy skits, super star special guests, advertisement jingles built into the show, a great monologue, and my favorite part of the show, the reading of listener letters. All of that shit is packed into one show! Can you dig it? CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Well with that being said, I expect all of the of #1s to move on with no problem. But let's talk about the #8s because they are all so fantastic! The Lone Ranger and The Jack Benny Show were two long running and high rated radio shows from the golden age of radio. Remember, radio was king. There was either no TV or TV was still so new that most people didn't have one yet. America got its entertainment from the radio. The Lone Ranger was action and drama and Jack Benny was comedy at its finest. My favorite part of the Lone Ranger was Tonto. I was always hoping he would be the hero for once. My favorite part of Jack Benny was Rochester, Benny's chauffeur. Rochester was quick witted with the snaps and funny as can be. The Dr. Demento Show is great!! I wish it came on here I'd be listening to it every week. It's funny on the edge of insanity. I mean come on, Dr. Demento is the guy who made this song. And he just got voted into the Radio Hall of Fame. Kim Komando is a nerdy boy's dream come true. The Kim Komando Show is great computer and techincal advice. It gets no better! You got a blue screen of death. Call Kim Komando. Your kids download a virus? No problem. Call Kim Komando. She's awesome!!

#2 vs #7
American Top 40 w/ Casey Kasem vs I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - There are a lot of the last great voices of radio in this tournament. Casey Kasem is one of them. If you listened to radio within the last 20 years you can identify Casey Kasem right away. He had a voice that sounded like he must be the nicest guy in the world. I was introduced to I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue by the wonderful Kelly Sugar. The show had been off the air for some time because its original host passed away but it has returned with rotating hosts. One of my favorite parts of the show is the "New Definitions" where you will hear stuff like "Lymph" means to walk with a lisp or "Toronto" which means An Expression used by the Lone Ranger when drunkenly addressing his colleague. Good stuff. But my vote goes to Casey Kasem.

Bubba The Love Sponge vs Worldwide w/ Gilles Peterson - Bubba the Love Sponge apparently loves this bar in Warner Robins Georgia called Bahama Bob's. Look at that name. Bahama Bob's. Sounds tropical doesn't it? Well, it's in a double wide trailer in the very middle of Georgia. Not at all near a beach. That's what makes it great. Bubba the Love Sponge sang karaoke there once and it stuck with him forever. If he ever finds himself in Georgia again I am sure he will be at Bahama Bob's. I LOVE Gilles Peterson. Gilles Peterson is my favorite DJ. It hurts my heart to have had to rank him as only a #7. His Worldwide radio show is broadcast out of London on BBC's Radio 1 and is one of my favorite radio shows. Ever wonder how I know all the stuff I know about music? Gilles. Through Gilles Peterson I learn all about what is happening in the world of music outside of Georgia. If it is good, he'll play it. Jazz, House, Hip-Hop, you name it. If its got a groove it can catch some air time from Peterson.

The John Tesh Show vs The Ed Schultz Show - Now I know a lot of people may think John Tesh is corny but I still like him. He has a good voice and even though he uses it to give out a bunch of useless facts, I find it entertaining (and also very funny). I remember John Tesh from the television show Entertainment Tonight. Who knew that when I was watching him then that he had a secret desire to be a radio DJ? Ed Schultz. A radio talk show for Democrats. Republicans talk big that's what makes them entertaining. Right or wrong they talk like they know what they are talking about. Makes for good entertainment. Democrats are nice. They want to know the other person's opinion. They might change their mind. Or in other words, they act normal. Not so good for entertainment. So how does Ed Schultz pull off his radio show? Well he does a fine job of making people listen. However, my vote goes to John Tesh.

Dr. Laura vs Coast To Coast AM - Let me go on and say I don't like Dr. Laura. If I got trapped in an elevator with that woman I'd probably kill myself cuz I can imagine that even if I killed her, she wouldn't stop talking. If there are Dr. Laura staff or fans or even Dr. Laura herself reading this, I'm sorry. I have a lot of respect for the fact that she has a radio show and I do not, but I swear she is the Judge Judy of radio and I can do without her. Now some people may find her advice useful but I probably stay away from those people too. Now moving on to Coast To Coast AM. It's about UFOs, Big Foots, Ghosts and stuff!! How can you top that? My vote goes to Coast To Coast.

#3 vs #6
Mike & Mike In The Morning vs Science Friday -
This match hurts my heart. Here are two of my favorite radio shows up against each other in the first round! One of the greatest days of my life is when Mike & Mike read one of my emails on the air. I was so happy. That shit was better than winning the lottery. And all I did was explain to them why Mike Tyson got mad and beat up some random guy on the street when he called the girl Mike was with a chicken head. Yeah, if you know me, you know I love sports and I can hold a pretty good sports conversation but my sports radio claim to fame is explaining slang to Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg. Science Friday is this BOMB! Talk about bringing out the nerd in me. When I was a kid I wanted to be a scientist. I wanted to build robots. I nearly burned my house down once with a chemistry set. I used sunlight to cook an egg. I started programming computers at the age of 10. If I had had a radio show that talked about science for a couple of hours once a week, I'd be working for NASA right now I know. I listen to Ira Flatow every week. It's nerdy stuff but it's not overwhelming. As a host Ira Flatow is humorous and engaging. He does his best to make sure everyone from the layman to the specialist stays interested in the topics. If you've never given it a listen, please give it a try.

This American Life vs The Steve Harvey Morning Show - Ira Glass is who every ironic wanna be hipster dreams to be. They may not even know who he is, but the wish they were him. Look at this guy! The glasses. The way he dresses. And oh yes, the voice. He has the nerdy hipster voice. However while hipsters walk around trying to be ironic and usually failing miserably Ira Glass lays it on you like POW with This American Life. This is a radio show that will fuck around have have you stuck in the car for abut 15 minutes trying to heard the end of the show. NPR calls those moments driveway moments. Stories so good you sit in the driveway in the car instead of going in the house. Well it could be worse you could be in the parking lot at Walmart with people walking by thinking you are crazy cuz This American life will sometimes have you laughing out loud, boo-hoo crying, cussing at invisible bad guys, or cheering the under dog on. Honestly you get that caught up in these stories. They are the stories of the hard fought battles for good by the average guy. The good hearted woman. The kids with dreams. Great work guys. You know what Amanda told me last night? She said she didn't think Steve Harvey was funny. I lost a little bit of respect for her. I think Steve Harvey is hilarious. Old school music and jokes. That's my kind of morning show. But my vote goes to This American Life. Sorry Steve.

Sean Hannity vs The Derek and Romaine Show - Let's really look at this match up. A Rush Limbaugh knock off vs a Gay talk show. You've got to be kidding me! The gay talk show is going to be far more entertaining! I probably made myself part of the dreaded liberal media by saying that but I mean come on. Republican radio shows are played out. To be honest all political radio shows are played out. Hell at least Derek and Romaine make me laugh. All political talk shows do are make me mad. Who wants to walk around mad all the time? I'm already a Cancer so I'm grumpy by nature! The least you can do if I tune in to your radio show is lighten the mood for me! Geez.

Delilah vs Jim Rome - Delilah might be the last pillow talk show. That saddens me because if the DJ isn't setting the late night mood, how will the babies get made? If pillow talk ends with Delilah the human race may come to an end!! This is a travesty! I don't always agree with Jim Rome on sports but I do most of the time. What gets me is how he can be so serious! Geez man, lighten up. Give me some humor!

#4 vs #5
Imus In The Morning vs Car Talk
- Let me see. A grumpy old guy who says "nappy headed hoes" on the air or two guys giving funny car advice? Let's see. I love cars. I hate assholes. I like to laugh. I hate being angry. The funny thing about this Don Imus is that if you were at all funny I'd be all about hearing some grumpy old guy saying "nappy headed hoes" but you really just come across as the bigot sitting on his front porch with a shot gun threatening everyone who walks by. But Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers come off as people I want to hang out with! Hell yeah I'll hand you that ratchet! Tell me again about the time you and your brother went to the Redwood forest! The best part of Car Talk is when they get the caller to make the noise the car is making. I LOVE IT!! Guess who gets my vote.

Frank DeCaro vs Air America - Ok. Go back up to Sean Hannity vs Derek and Romaine and re-read it. FUCK POLITICAL TALK RADIO!! Give me the funny gay guy every time! Frank DeCaro is hilarious. I'd hang out with him any time. Know why? All the hot female movie stars love him! You damn right, I'd be introducing myself like, "Hi I'm Roger Riddle. I'm a good friend of Frank DeCaro."

Wait Wait Don't Tell Me vs The Rest Of The Story - Ok. This match up hurts my heart. One of these shows won't make it to the second round. Wait Wait Don't Tell Me is my favorite radio show right now. The Rest Of The Story was one of the greatest stories on the radio! PAUL HARVEY VS CARL KASSEL!! How did I do this? I could have cheated and not put them against each other but no...I go by my rules! This is ridiculous! I LOVE Roy Blount Jr. He makes me laugh so hard. Peter Sagal is the man!! Paula Poundstone is so funny!! But...PAUL HARVEY!! Can't you just hear him saying, "and now you know...the Rest of the story"? I swear when I was making the list of tournaments that we would do I put this category on the list so I could put Wait Wait in the tournament. Now here I am fretting over who will win in the first round. Oh Paul Harvey I will always love you but my vote goes to Wait Wait.

May radio one day become good again.
Roger

Radio Shows Bracket


Here's the bracket for this week's Radio Shows tournament. The voting should be ready by Noon today. As for right now, I am hungry. I'm gonna go find something to eat.

See you in a bit.
Roger

The Dynamics



You need some music in your life. That's all to it. Check out this cover of The White Stripes' Seven Nation Army by The Dynamics. Once you dig this, check out their version of "The Creator Has A Master Plan" and "Move On Up" all from the album Version Excursions.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

And The Winner Is...

Subway takes the win and moves on to the Extravaganza. Jared and Phelps must have some serious people pulling power. Congratulations to Subway and thank you to all of the restaurants that I heard from and thank you to all of you who voted! This was a great tournament.

Next week we will be doing radio shows. Yeah. Howard Stern vs A Prairie Home Companion? Bubba the Love Sponge vs Wait Wait Don't Tell Me? We shall see. Voting starts mid-day Sunday. And don't forget about the Coffee Cake Extravaganza Special Edition: Taco Bell Menu, sponsored in part by the Taco Bell Truck. That should be up and ready for votes on Monday.

So rest up this weekend and get ready for a big week on Coffee Cake.

Later
Roger

Friday, August 14, 2009

Fast Food Joints - Round 5 (The Finals)


This is an exciting match-up. Taco Bell vs Subway. Who will walk away the Coffee Cake Extravaganza Fast Food Joint champion.
Is it Taco Bell, with its late night goodness? It's cheap menu? That talking Chihuahua (R.I.P.)?
Or is it Subway, with its healthy choices? It's $5 foot longs? Its construction workers who can't seem too get the song together?
Well, in any case like Angel "This Girl" Collins said, it is going to be interesting to see who has the best social networking. Who can get the most of their people out to vote? We'll soon find out. Best of luck to both!

I'd also like to say a big hello and thank you to Natalie Silva from Whataburger.

See you tomorrow for the results.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Fast Food Joints - Round 4 (Final Four)

Only four teams left. Who wants it most?

Pizza Hut vs Subway - I've been pulling for Pizza Hut since this tournament started but this is where I get off the bandwagon. I'm pulling for Subway. I have to give it up for their veggie patty subs. Those things are soooooo good. Go Subway!

Taco Bell vs Waffle House - Wow. Waffle House is a #8. How did you make it this far into the tournament? It's the hash browns isn't it? I know I eat my fair share of them. I saw a great Arby's vs Waffle House discussion on Facebook yesterday. There was a lot of talk about chili. Chili on hash browns must be the bomb-diggy cuz there were at least one person that was loosing her mind over putting chili on stuff. Taco Bell. What more can I say? That's just cheap and good eating. The Bean Burrito, the 7 Layer Burrito, The Mexican Pizza. The list goes on and on. Viva Taco Bell!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

This just in...

An attempted armed robbery at a Macon Arby's was twarted by two customers from Tennesse. More news when I get home.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Fast Food Joints - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)

\
Wow! Heck of a day yesterday. The fans turned out for the vote and it showed. Thanks to Carl's Jr., Hardee's, Subway, KFC, Chick-fil-A, Arby's and Taco Bell for spreading the word through Twitter and Facebook. And thanks to Five Guys for sharing the kind words. Just so you all know, I will be doing a Special Edition: Taco Bell Menu Coffee Cake tournament with the help of the Taco Bell Truck and I hope have that up and ready for voting on Monday. Stay tuned to the Taco Bell Truck Twitter page and check back here for more details.

There's a lot of heavyweights in this round. Let's take a look.

Pizza Hut vs Checkers - Pizza vs quick drive through. How can you call this one? I'm gonna go with Pizza Hut.

KFC vs Subway - No fair!! Subway not only has Jared, now they have Michael Phelps! How can KFC compete with that? I know...Grilled Chicken. Boo-yah! How can you call it?

Arby's vs Waffle House - You ever had a blueberry waffle from Waffle House? Those things are so good I eat them with no syrup. Arby's, I'm sorry I've neglected you over the years. I promise that I will come visit you soon and reacquaint myself with your menu.

Taco Bell vs Popeye's - I've been craving a 7 Layer Burrito lately. When I finally get my hands on one I am gonna light that bad boy up! It's not gonna last 60 seconds. Then I will pull out the 2nd one I ordered and eat it slow and enjoy it. Popeye's, I love you but Taco Bell get's the vote.

See you tomorrow folks.

Rogie Dodgie

P.S. - Are you all hype for the USA vs Mexico soccer match today? It's a World Cup qualifying match. 3.30pm. GO USA!!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Fast Food Joints - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)


A very exciting Round 1 brought us some serious upsets. The two biggest in the fast food game are gone after Round 1. McDonald's and Burger King go down in the first round! KFC and Taco Bell move on because they put Twitter to use for them but KFC's first round match was close. Let's see if they can rally their followers for a better showing in the 2nd round.

Let's look at the match ups in Round 2.

Checkers vs Whataburger - I'm going with Checkers on this one only because I have not had Whataburger since 1994. And Checkers' french fries are where it's at.

Pizza Hut vs Sonic - My favorite pizza from Pizza Hut is just a plain old cheese pizza. That jawn is so yum. Wooo! I could go for one right now. I think I know what I will be doing on my day off. Cheese pizza, bottle of wine and kung-fu movies. Sonic has this peanut butter milkshake that I love. A friend of mine named Shane brought me one once and I have been hooked ever since. And you know those Sonic commercials with the two guy's in the car cracking really corny jokes? I always thought I hated them until I saw the commercials that didn't have the two guys. The new commercials had other people in them and I hated those more. Then I realized I had grown to even like the first two guys and found them funny. Right on Sonic. But my vote is going to Pizza Hut.

KFC vs White Castle - KFC is up on its game. They are using Twitter to get to their people. I like that. That is a company that is evolving with the times. Before you know it, KFC will have healthier choices... What? They are selling grilled chicken now? See what I mean? Go KFC! White Castle, you're so good that you had a couple of pot heads do a movie about you. Why aren't you representing the goodness in the south? My vote has to go with KFC.

Subway vs Chick-fil-A - There is a Subway not to far from my house that stays open 24 hours because it is by the hospital. Now to a lot of you, you may be thinking, "big deal". But when you live in a town that pretty much closes at 10pm, you get excited when you find out anything stays open 24 hours. Chick-fil-A has a pickle on their chicken sandwich. What is the best part of the sandwich. I'm not kidding. There is something about that pickle that absolutely makes that sandwich. My vote goes to Chick-fil-A.

Jack In The Box vs Waffle House - Not a lot I can say about Jack In The Box other than they have a crazy diverse menu. It's not just burger's and fries and a chicken or fish sandwich thrown in the mix for good measure. No. They have tacos, egg rolls, Philly steak sandwiches... grilled cheese.... *gives all the Home Cooked Dishes voters a "Roger Riddle" look*. That's pretty impressive for a fast food spot. Plus again with the commercials. My vote goes to Jack In The Box.

Arby's vs Hardee's - I remember Arby's having great fries when I still ate there. I hope their fries are still that good now. There are two ways to get me to go just about anything you want. French fries and cookies. You offer me either of those and I am as good as your lackey. Maybe this is a chance for me to rekindle my old flame with Arby's. I wonder if they have a chicken sandwich I would like. We shall soon find out Arby's. Hardee's used to have this mushroom and swiss burger that was amazing. I remember talking to Kevin about it one day and we broke out to get one. I remember us just gobbling the thing down like there was crack in it or something. For nostalgia my vote goes to Hardee's.

Taco Bell vs Moe's - Taco Bell vs Moe's. Two southwest styled chains. This could be a good one. Taco Bell's Mexican pizza cause me to go insane once. I couldn't stop eating them. Then I gave up beef and I was hurt that I would never eat another one. Then one day I was standing in line and a guy in front of me ordered one with no beef!! I swear what happened to me was like that scene in The Blues Brothers where the light was shining down on Jim Belushi in the church. Moe's oh you and your tasty salsa. Yum yum yum. I didn't even realize that I cared that much about salsa until you gave me all those chips with my burrito. But alas, my vote goes to Taco Bell.

Popeye's vs Five Guys - I really like Popeye's Chicken. Once after a Bragg Jam, Chris Horne, Stick and I went to a Popeye's and that was just about the best meal I ever ate. We were still exhausted from the night before and as I remember it we got the chicken, came back home, ate and all of us fell asleep again. It was a wonderful moment in gluttony. Five Guys knows how to treat fry lovers. Their fries are really good and they know the importance of bag fries!! Right on Five Guys...but I don't eat burgers. )-: Popeye's gets the vote.

There we have it folks.
Til tomorrow.

Roger

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Fast Food Joints - Round 1


Whoa hey hey hey. Welcome to another week of Coffee Cake. This week we will be discussing the finer tastings of Fast Food Joints. Yeah, when you're being bad on that diet, whadda'you do? Mikey D's? KFC? When you are trying to get from one business meeting to the next where do you go? Jack In The Box? Taco Bell? When it's late night and you want something quick, where do you go? In-N-Out? Sonic? We are going to figure out the best of the best this week.

Let's talk about the matches.
#1 vs #8
McDonald's vs Whataburger -
A couple of weeks ago I was going somewhere with Aaron and Amanda and Amanda pointed out to me that I have no game with the ladies. She said my line, "Baby, your daddy must have been a cheeseburger cuz I could nom on you all night long," would be ineffective. Aaron completely didn't understand the line. He said, "What is a 'nom'?" I said, "That's the sound you make when you're eating a sandwich." He then told me that he didn't make that sound and it would have made more sense to him if I had said, "Your daddy must have been a cheeseburger cuz I could robble robble on you all night."
I fell out. Amanda didn't get it. It made both Aaron and me feel old. My point in all of this is that McDonalds reminds me of being a kid. I rarely eat there any more but it's comforting to know that it's around. My only experience with Whataburger is from my freshmen year of college. I was really hungry and I went in one with a group of friends. I ordered a chicken sandwich. The place looked like a barn with really long pic-nic tables in it. It was interesting. But my vote goes to McDonald's.

KFC vs Krystal's - I eat at Krystal's a lot. More than I'd like to admit. It's right around the corner from my house. I always order the Krystal Chiks. I recently found out that their chili is meatless so I can also eat that (I don't eat beef or pork). I wish there was a KFC downtown. I'd eat there more. My Twitter picture is a picture of me on a KFC bucket. KFC gets the vote.

Burger King vs Waffle House - I'm not gonna lie. The new Burger King commercials are really creepy to me. But I really like their fish sammich and the original chicken sammich. And they have a really good breakfast. Now Waffle House is just like Krystal's for me. I eat there all the time. It's right around the corner from my house and it's open 24 hours. I tend to find myself hungry in the middle of the night a lot. But I'm giving a vote to Burger King. Just keep that creepy King character away from me.

Taco Bell vs A Hot Dog Cart - While I was in Savannah I saw an old Taco Bell sign. I was mad excited. I love old signs. Like, give me a Big Boy on the side of the road. Or one of the old Holiday Inn signs with the lights. So when I saw that damn Taco Bell sign my insides did a little happy nostalgic flip. I really like their 7 layer burrito. You know Taco Bell is very vegetarian friendly? You can order most of the stuff minus the beef and replace it with beans. It's great. We don't have a lot of carts on the streets here in Macon like they do in big cities. People who live in pedestrian heavy cities know that the fastest food you can get is from a cart and a lot of it is really good. Folks refer to it as street meat. It may be good and quick but I gotta go with Taco Bell.

#2 vs #7
Pizza Hut vs A&W -
When I was a kid pizza at my house meant Little Caesar's. We rarely ate pizza from anywhere else. I always wanted Pizza Hut. I thought it was the best pizza in the world. Now it may have been because I had so rarely had it but you know...kid logic. I CRAVED Pizza Hut and never had it. Many year's later I move to Macon and Pizza Hut is my go to for delivery. I am making up for all those years of never having it. Now A&W used to be my SHIT when I was in high school! Me and my friend Joe Martin would go to A&W and eat burgers and drink root beer. The root beer would come in a cold frosty mug. I was delicious. At the time I didn't even like root beer but I drank it and loved it at A&W. Looking back I think the reason we went to that place so much was because this girl named Alia worked there. And I am sure those visits to A&W are the reason why I am addicted to Root Beer and Cream Soda now. Not too long ago Amanda got on to me for singing "She thinks my root beer's sexy." while standing in line in a Chick-fil-A. She told me I was being weird. My vote goes to Pizza Hut.

Subway vs Hungry Howie's - I had Subway yesterday while I sat in the park and drank a bottle of wine and listened to Jason Isbell (formerly of The Drive By Truckers) play a nice little acoustic set. It was just a veggie sub but boy did it hit the spot. Now. Hungry Howie's. If I craved Pizza Hut, let me tell you, I never knew what I was missing until the day I had Hungry Howie's pizza. I ended up eating it cuz I was really hungry one day and couldn't leave the house for some reason. They were the only pizza place that delivered in my area. The pizza was fantastic. They had these buttery flavored crusts. Oh my god. I've had Hungry Howie's maybe 3 times in my life but I can still taste that pizza. My vote goes to Hungry Howie's.

Arby's vs Cheeburger Cheeburger - Since I don't eat beef I can't remember the last time I ate at Arby's. It's been years but I do know it was good. I seem to remember something about Arby's sauce. I've never been to Cheeburger Cheeburger but I love that fuckin' name! How simple is that? Imagine this conversation.
"I wonder what that place sells."
"I bet they sell cheeseburgers. And my guess is the owner has a speech impediment."
See how that works? That's effective marketing. My vote goes to Cheeburger Cheeburger.

Popeye's vs Hot Dog On A Stick - My friend DJ Tagg in Arizona loves Popeye's. He could be a one man promoter for the company. I have to admit, the chicken, biscuits, and red beans and rice are mighty tasty. Hot Dog On A Stick is just so cute. Look at their cute little website. Look at that cute little logo. The idea of making a whole company out of a hot dog on a stick is just cute. But even with all that cuteness, I've got to go with Popeye's.

#3s vs #6
Checkers vs Del Taco -
In Michigan Checkers were called Rally's. They have the best fries!! Man I'll mess around and damn near bite a finger off eating their fries. When I lived in Tallahassee I swear the only thing that sold food after 9pm was a Rally's way on the opposite side of campus. Now, I love their double fish sandwich. One night I stopped at Checkers on the way to a DJ gig. I ate my fries but stuck the sandwich in my cord bag so I could eat it after I got set up. Well I forgot about it. A month went by before my next gig. That fish sandwich was still in there. It was the most horrible smell my nose has ever had to experience. It smell like ammonia and hell. I was pissed cuz my bag was funky and I didn't get to eat my sandwich. I've never been to a Del Taco. Never even seen one. But people in Macon love Del Taco. There aren't any here anymore but I swear everyone wishes they'd come back. Since I missed the glory days of Del Taco in Macon, my vote goes to Checkers.

White Castle vs Little Caesar's -
This match hurts my soul. Both of these bring back fond childhood memories. My dad used to eat the hell out of some White Castles. Now I live in Macon and there are no White Castles here. Hell we just got Little Caesar's in the last year. As you've already heard me say, Little Caesar's is what pizza tastes like to me. I love it. LC gets my vote.

Jack In The Box vs Captain D's - When I first got to Georgia I think I ate at Captain D's about 3 times a week. It was insane. I loved it! Fried fish!! The food was good but honestly I kept going back because there was this smoking hot girl working there. I've never been to a Jack In The Box but I LOVE the commercials. There is something about that mascot that just cracks me up. It's creepy and yet funny at the same time. Just like a toy Jack in the box.
Jack In The Box gets my vote.

Long John Silver's vs Moe's -
I've only eaten at Long John Silver's a couple of times. It was good, I just never seem to end up at one. I first had Moe's in Atlanta. My friend Kevin took me to one. I ordered a burrito called The Homewrecker. We come back home and I sit down and start playing video games. I had the worst gas. There just seemed to be no end to it. Kevin is walking around the kitchen like a mad man. He's looking for something. Finally he comes and sits down next to me and starts playing the game too. I fart again. Quiet but potent, if you get my drift. Kevin looks over at me and say, "Did you just fart?" I said yeah. He jumps up and loses his shit. "THAT WAS YOU ALL THIS TIME? Man I thought someone had left some meat out or something. I was trying to figure out where that smell was coming from." My vote goes to Moe's for having well named their dishes.

And The Winner Is...

London takes the win with 88% of the vote and moves on to The Extravaganza. Stay tuned cuz the next category is Fast Food Joints. Should be lots of fun.

Roger

Friday, August 7, 2009

Music Alert!!

I love this guy. Jonathan Jeremiah is from London (hint hint: vote for London). His first release, "What's A Guy Got To Do" will be available this coming Tuesday, August 10th. Go on Jonathan! Sing them songs boy.

Here's my favorite from him.

Cosmopolitan Cities - Round 5 (The Finals)

London vs Miami. I like this as a final. You can do it all in either city. Miami has one thing London doesn't though. Beaches. Nice.
However, London has a much better music scene and some of the greatest DJs in the world. A night on the town in London would be a dream come true for me.

London gets the Roger Riddle vote.

It's First Friday here in Macon, which means when I quit bartending at 8pm, I'll be coming straight home. I'll see you all around then.

Peace
Riddle

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Another Tie!

We'll do sudden death on the London/Sydney Bracket until 1:30am. Vote!!

Cosmopoliatn Cities - Round 4 (The Final Four)

Holy crap! A tie!

I had to bartend until 2am last night and didn't make it home until 4am. I am just seeing the results for the first time and there is a tie from last night. We'll do a real quick tiebreaker vote for the next until. 10am and then I'll put up the final four for you all.

Tokyo vs Sydney.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Roger