Friday, August 28, 2009

Cereal - Round 4 (The Final Four)

Apparently most of you feel that since Cap'n Crunch causes a little mouth damage that you are too good to eat it. *In mocking childish voice* "This cereal cuts the roof of my mouth"..."This cereal makes my gums bleed." Waaa Waaa Waaa...Baby Cry Real Tears. Every little girl wants one for Christmas this year. SO WHAT! I won't stand for no sass in my house!! I bought that cereal and you're gonna eat it. I'd tell my kids that when I was a child and eating Cap'n Crunch I loved it bleeding mouth and all because what's a little cut in the mouth when the alternative was eating a steak that would bust out your stomach and eat your best friend. Eating food was dangerous when I was a kid. Little brats should be thankful for the technological advancements made in food since I was little.
See...that shit would scare them, they'd eat the Cap'n Crunch and they would become vegetarians. You know how much money I would save not having to buy meat?

Anyway...moving on to something that doesn't make me sound slightly insane...

Cheerios vs Froot Loops - I think you have come to the end of the line Toucan Sam. You had a good run and an appearance in the Final Four is something to be proud of. But Cheerios are gonna get nutritious all over that ass. Watch me what I say now.

Rice Krispies vs Frosted Flakes - Normally a three on one fight is just unfair and I am on the side of the disadvantaged. However, in this case Tony the Tiger is a walking, talking, IN SHAPE LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA....tiger. So not only is this cat musclebound he's a fucking tiger. And look at that name. If you ever got into a confrontation with some real life guy named Tony the Tiger you've been living your life wrong. The Mafia is after you. Now how are three little Tom Thumb muthafuckas supposed to compete with that? Their names are Snap, Crackle, and Pop. If this were a battle of the mascots I'd pick Tony the Tiger. THEY'RE GRRRRREAT!! (Just wanted to say that) But this is about the cereal. Rice Krispies always fascinated me. The noise they make just blew me away as a kid. And I still like Rice Krispies to this day. Rice Krispies get my vote.

See you tomorrow for a rare Saturday final!


  1. i like to laugh. the intro cracked me up. it's almost unfair when you have quizzes that make sense...i like the senseless / absurd ones where objectivity is unimportant. the commentary is gravy.

    oddly addicted to the 'cake,