Sunday, August 16, 2009

Radio Shows - Round 1

I love radio. I probably listened to the radio more as a kid than I watched TV. It was a play land for my imagination, of which I had a plenty. Music, talk shows, comedy, drama you name I was listening. I would lay in bed late at night and mess with the tuner until I found something good. Sometimes you'd pick up stations from states away. I would listen to the pillow talk shows. They had great music and the DJ had a soothing voice (Or at least that's what I thought it was. As I got older I found out that women call that voice sexy). It would put me to sleep. I used to listen to a show hosted by Stan Freeberg that played old time radio shows like, The Shadow, The Lone Ranger, Lum and Abner and my favorite, The Damon Runyon Theater. And even now that radio is pretty lame, especially here in Macon, I still know where to find some good stuff. When I hit Atlanta I always turn to 88.5 Georgia State University's radio station. I listen to so many different shows on NPR and public radio. I use the internet to tune into the BBC. This is going to be a fun category for me so let's get started.

#1s vs #8s
We know the #1s. I mean come on. You've got to be living a pretty messed up life if you have not heard of Rush Limbaugh, Howard Stern, or Ryan Seacrest. Now I will give you A Prairie Home Companion. Maybe you haven't heard of that one. So I am going to tell you a little bit about it. A Prairie Home Companion is everything that I mentioned above that I loved about radio and a lot of things I never experienced from that era of listening. It was created and is hosted by Garrison Keillor and it is like he tried to roll all the best parts of radio into one show. There is live musical performances, comedy skits, super star special guests, advertisement jingles built into the show, a great monologue, and my favorite part of the show, the reading of listener letters. All of that shit is packed into one show! Can you dig it? CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Well with that being said, I expect all of the of #1s to move on with no problem. But let's talk about the #8s because they are all so fantastic! The Lone Ranger and The Jack Benny Show were two long running and high rated radio shows from the golden age of radio. Remember, radio was king. There was either no TV or TV was still so new that most people didn't have one yet. America got its entertainment from the radio. The Lone Ranger was action and drama and Jack Benny was comedy at its finest. My favorite part of the Lone Ranger was Tonto. I was always hoping he would be the hero for once. My favorite part of Jack Benny was Rochester, Benny's chauffeur. Rochester was quick witted with the snaps and funny as can be. The Dr. Demento Show is great!! I wish it came on here I'd be listening to it every week. It's funny on the edge of insanity. I mean come on, Dr. Demento is the guy who made this song. And he just got voted into the Radio Hall of Fame. Kim Komando is a nerdy boy's dream come true. The Kim Komando Show is great computer and techincal advice. It gets no better! You got a blue screen of death. Call Kim Komando. Your kids download a virus? No problem. Call Kim Komando. She's awesome!!

#2 vs #7
American Top 40 w/ Casey Kasem vs I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - There are a lot of the last great voices of radio in this tournament. Casey Kasem is one of them. If you listened to radio within the last 20 years you can identify Casey Kasem right away. He had a voice that sounded like he must be the nicest guy in the world. I was introduced to I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue by the wonderful Kelly Sugar. The show had been off the air for some time because its original host passed away but it has returned with rotating hosts. One of my favorite parts of the show is the "New Definitions" where you will hear stuff like "Lymph" means to walk with a lisp or "Toronto" which means An Expression used by the Lone Ranger when drunkenly addressing his colleague. Good stuff. But my vote goes to Casey Kasem.

Bubba The Love Sponge vs Worldwide w/ Gilles Peterson - Bubba the Love Sponge apparently loves this bar in Warner Robins Georgia called Bahama Bob's. Look at that name. Bahama Bob's. Sounds tropical doesn't it? Well, it's in a double wide trailer in the very middle of Georgia. Not at all near a beach. That's what makes it great. Bubba the Love Sponge sang karaoke there once and it stuck with him forever. If he ever finds himself in Georgia again I am sure he will be at Bahama Bob's. I LOVE Gilles Peterson. Gilles Peterson is my favorite DJ. It hurts my heart to have had to rank him as only a #7. His Worldwide radio show is broadcast out of London on BBC's Radio 1 and is one of my favorite radio shows. Ever wonder how I know all the stuff I know about music? Gilles. Through Gilles Peterson I learn all about what is happening in the world of music outside of Georgia. If it is good, he'll play it. Jazz, House, Hip-Hop, you name it. If its got a groove it can catch some air time from Peterson.

The John Tesh Show vs The Ed Schultz Show - Now I know a lot of people may think John Tesh is corny but I still like him. He has a good voice and even though he uses it to give out a bunch of useless facts, I find it entertaining (and also very funny). I remember John Tesh from the television show Entertainment Tonight. Who knew that when I was watching him then that he had a secret desire to be a radio DJ? Ed Schultz. A radio talk show for Democrats. Republicans talk big that's what makes them entertaining. Right or wrong they talk like they know what they are talking about. Makes for good entertainment. Democrats are nice. They want to know the other person's opinion. They might change their mind. Or in other words, they act normal. Not so good for entertainment. So how does Ed Schultz pull off his radio show? Well he does a fine job of making people listen. However, my vote goes to John Tesh.

Dr. Laura vs Coast To Coast AM - Let me go on and say I don't like Dr. Laura. If I got trapped in an elevator with that woman I'd probably kill myself cuz I can imagine that even if I killed her, she wouldn't stop talking. If there are Dr. Laura staff or fans or even Dr. Laura herself reading this, I'm sorry. I have a lot of respect for the fact that she has a radio show and I do not, but I swear she is the Judge Judy of radio and I can do without her. Now some people may find her advice useful but I probably stay away from those people too. Now moving on to Coast To Coast AM. It's about UFOs, Big Foots, Ghosts and stuff!! How can you top that? My vote goes to Coast To Coast.

#3 vs #6
Mike & Mike In The Morning vs Science Friday -
This match hurts my heart. Here are two of my favorite radio shows up against each other in the first round! One of the greatest days of my life is when Mike & Mike read one of my emails on the air. I was so happy. That shit was better than winning the lottery. And all I did was explain to them why Mike Tyson got mad and beat up some random guy on the street when he called the girl Mike was with a chicken head. Yeah, if you know me, you know I love sports and I can hold a pretty good sports conversation but my sports radio claim to fame is explaining slang to Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg. Science Friday is this BOMB! Talk about bringing out the nerd in me. When I was a kid I wanted to be a scientist. I wanted to build robots. I nearly burned my house down once with a chemistry set. I used sunlight to cook an egg. I started programming computers at the age of 10. If I had had a radio show that talked about science for a couple of hours once a week, I'd be working for NASA right now I know. I listen to Ira Flatow every week. It's nerdy stuff but it's not overwhelming. As a host Ira Flatow is humorous and engaging. He does his best to make sure everyone from the layman to the specialist stays interested in the topics. If you've never given it a listen, please give it a try.

This American Life vs The Steve Harvey Morning Show - Ira Glass is who every ironic wanna be hipster dreams to be. They may not even know who he is, but the wish they were him. Look at this guy! The glasses. The way he dresses. And oh yes, the voice. He has the nerdy hipster voice. However while hipsters walk around trying to be ironic and usually failing miserably Ira Glass lays it on you like POW with This American Life. This is a radio show that will fuck around have have you stuck in the car for abut 15 minutes trying to heard the end of the show. NPR calls those moments driveway moments. Stories so good you sit in the driveway in the car instead of going in the house. Well it could be worse you could be in the parking lot at Walmart with people walking by thinking you are crazy cuz This American life will sometimes have you laughing out loud, boo-hoo crying, cussing at invisible bad guys, or cheering the under dog on. Honestly you get that caught up in these stories. They are the stories of the hard fought battles for good by the average guy. The good hearted woman. The kids with dreams. Great work guys. You know what Amanda told me last night? She said she didn't think Steve Harvey was funny. I lost a little bit of respect for her. I think Steve Harvey is hilarious. Old school music and jokes. That's my kind of morning show. But my vote goes to This American Life. Sorry Steve.

Sean Hannity vs The Derek and Romaine Show - Let's really look at this match up. A Rush Limbaugh knock off vs a Gay talk show. You've got to be kidding me! The gay talk show is going to be far more entertaining! I probably made myself part of the dreaded liberal media by saying that but I mean come on. Republican radio shows are played out. To be honest all political radio shows are played out. Hell at least Derek and Romaine make me laugh. All political talk shows do are make me mad. Who wants to walk around mad all the time? I'm already a Cancer so I'm grumpy by nature! The least you can do if I tune in to your radio show is lighten the mood for me! Geez.

Delilah vs Jim Rome - Delilah might be the last pillow talk show. That saddens me because if the DJ isn't setting the late night mood, how will the babies get made? If pillow talk ends with Delilah the human race may come to an end!! This is a travesty! I don't always agree with Jim Rome on sports but I do most of the time. What gets me is how he can be so serious! Geez man, lighten up. Give me some humor!

#4 vs #5
Imus In The Morning vs Car Talk
- Let me see. A grumpy old guy who says "nappy headed hoes" on the air or two guys giving funny car advice? Let's see. I love cars. I hate assholes. I like to laugh. I hate being angry. The funny thing about this Don Imus is that if you were at all funny I'd be all about hearing some grumpy old guy saying "nappy headed hoes" but you really just come across as the bigot sitting on his front porch with a shot gun threatening everyone who walks by. But Click and Clack the Tapper Brothers come off as people I want to hang out with! Hell yeah I'll hand you that ratchet! Tell me again about the time you and your brother went to the Redwood forest! The best part of Car Talk is when they get the caller to make the noise the car is making. I LOVE IT!! Guess who gets my vote.

Frank DeCaro vs Air America - Ok. Go back up to Sean Hannity vs Derek and Romaine and re-read it. FUCK POLITICAL TALK RADIO!! Give me the funny gay guy every time! Frank DeCaro is hilarious. I'd hang out with him any time. Know why? All the hot female movie stars love him! You damn right, I'd be introducing myself like, "Hi I'm Roger Riddle. I'm a good friend of Frank DeCaro."

Wait Wait Don't Tell Me vs The Rest Of The Story - Ok. This match up hurts my heart. One of these shows won't make it to the second round. Wait Wait Don't Tell Me is my favorite radio show right now. The Rest Of The Story was one of the greatest stories on the radio! PAUL HARVEY VS CARL KASSEL!! How did I do this? I could have cheated and not put them against each other but no...I go by my rules! This is ridiculous! I LOVE Roy Blount Jr. He makes me laugh so hard. Peter Sagal is the man!! Paula Poundstone is so funny!! But...PAUL HARVEY!! Can't you just hear him saying, "and now you know...the Rest of the story"? I swear when I was making the list of tournaments that we would do I put this category on the list so I could put Wait Wait in the tournament. Now here I am fretting over who will win in the first round. Oh Paul Harvey I will always love you but my vote goes to Wait Wait.

May radio one day become good again.


  1. This is an excellent idea for a bracket. I personally foresee Car Talk and Howard Stern in the finals, but that would only be if I was doing all the voting.

  2. Dan Patrick FTW!!

    or, failing that, Air America rules.

  3. One of THE best first rounds I have seen on CCE to date!

    Coast To Coast, FTW!!!