Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Zoo Animals - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)

Sorry about the lack of commentary on yesterday's post but I think the word whippin' I received for leaving out the three toed sloth was worth the price of admission.

Let's look at todays match ups

Lions vs Polar Bears: I know what you're thinking. "He's going to vote for the lions." Quit acting like you know me. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!! I'm voting for Polar Bears. You ever seen a Mama Polar Bear with a cute little bear cub? It's sooooo cute! How can you vote against that? And not to lose all of my manhood on my blog, Polar bears are still big and strong and in the wrong situation will make you shit you pants upon sight.

Pandas vs Hippos: Pandas you sure are cute but Hippos sure do rock the spot! HIPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!

Monkeys vs Seals: Come on let's face it Monkeys smell bad. I know I don't smell like a rose most days but I sure as hell don't smell like a monkey. Seals spend a lot of time in the water so they can't smell bad. Plus seals do stuff like this.

Zebras vs Koalas: Wow this is a tough one. Mitch Hedberg said all that needs to be said about Koalas. But zebras are making some important social commentary on the way we need to live in America. Those zebras know what's up. I'm voting Zebra.

Penguins vs Gorillas: A gorilla will fuck you up and then sit down scratch itself and chew on a stick like nothing happened. The look on its face is like it didn't even remember something happened. "OH MY GOD!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ROGER?!" ... "Who?" Yeah fuck that. I'm voting for Penguins.

Tigers vs Llamas: Llamas do something that I find really endearing. If you shave the hair off a llama's chest they become embarrassed and will go hide until they feel comfortable with being seen again. That makes me go awwww. I want to vote for the llamas but the guy in me is warning me that I've already voted against the lions so I better vote for the big cat. Tigers get the vote.

Giraffes vs Kangaroos: Giraffes are tall. I'm tall. I'm voting Giraffes. One thing I don't get about nature. Why would nature make it so hard for the giraffe to drink water. That's mean of you nature.

Elephants vs Otters: Elephants. I love them. They are nature's tanks. And if you ever watch a documentary on elephants you will see that they are very caring animals. I love that. They have trunks that can be used as a trumpet. Elephants are great but otters are so much fun to watch swim around!. Elephants you have to watch for months on end and then all of a sudden you have a eureka moment. That's not quite feasible for zoo watching. Otters are instant gratification. My vote goes to the otters.

See you tomorrow!
Rogie Dodgie
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Monday, November 29, 2010

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Beer - Round 5 (The Finals)

So here we are at the finals and it's a final that I didn't really expect. New Castle has come out of no where to show that it has a stronger fan following that expected. Pabst Blue Ribbon I might have been able to see but still two beers in the finals that you wouldn't normally expect. How's gonna take it all? My vote vote goes to PBR.

Tomorrow we start on zoo animals! See you then!

Roger

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Beer - Round 4 (The Final Four)

Forgive me for the lateness on this round. For the past two days I was getting up at 3am to get ready for a TV show I was co-hosting and that left me with no time to update Coffee Cake. But we ill get Beer finished up and out the way on Sunday and move on to next week's tournament on Monday.

Let's do it!

Yuengling vs Newcastle: The battle of the #5s. Newcastle came out of nowhere to pull off a huge upset since it was tied with Guinness for two days. Someone went out and changed their vote. But Yuengling is my beer. That's where my vote is going.

Sam Adams vs Pabst Blue Ribbon: I'm going cheap on this one. My vote goes to Pabst Blue Ribbon. I like Sam Adams on draft but not in a bottle and Pabst Blue Ribbon never seems to let me down. Well at least until the bottle runs out.

Hope you are having a great Thanksgiving weekend.
See you tomorrow.
Rog

Thursday, November 25, 2010

We'll pick back up on Friday!

We'll do the next round on Friday and finish up on Saturday. Happy Thanksgiving!!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Beer - Round 3 (The Elite Eight)

So how do you recover from talking shit about a beer only to have it's makers read what you say? You vote for it? I was all excited when I realized that someone from Blue Moon was actually checking out the beer tournament then I realized I was kinda hard on old Blue Moon. Luckily, the folks from Blue Moon are good sports and came back to check on how their baby was doing. It even pulled out a win when things were looking bleak earlier in the day. Can Blue Moon keep chuggin' to the next round? Let's see.

Yuengling vs Lone Star: Lone Star has been our Cinderella but alas, I do believe the clock just struck 12.

Guinness vs New Castle: I can't believe New Castle made it this far, but whatever. Now it's got to deal with the big daddy of dark beers. Brown Ale my ass. Stout is where it's at sucka!

Miller High Life vs Pabst Blue Ribbon: The champagne of beers vs the award winner. It a cheap beer knock down, drag out! My money is on PBR.

Sam Adams vs Blue Moon: I am confident that Blue Moon will easily win this round. Wanna know why? I serve beer every day. I serve Blue Moons every day. Sometimes I go weeks without serving a Sam Adams. Now I know it has a lot to do with where you are in the country. And I know Sam Adams fans are dedicated. But honestly Blue Moon is more fun. It's easier to drink. Men and ladies like it. I'm going with Blue Moon here.

See you at the Final Four on Thanksgiving Day!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Blue Moon vs Fat Tire

So because we got a visit from the good folks over at Blue Moon Brewing I changed my vote to Blue Moon. Yes my allegiances can sometimes be bought very easily on Coffee Cake. Just wanted to say thanks to the folks at Blue Moon and GO BLUE MOON!!

Next Week's Tournamanet

So, next week's tournament is going to be Zoo animals. What's your favorites?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Beer - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)

Well here we are at round 2 of the beer tournament. Some really surprising upsets and some really good down to the wire races. Dogfish Head ended up losing to Blue Moon as I received a great phone call from my boss telling me that we just received a case of Dogfish Head's Miles Davis Bitches Brew and we began planning a tasting and listening party. I got home to see Dogfish Head losing and it nearly broke my heart. But let's look at how the round two matches will shape up.

Budweiser vs Lone Star: The beer from Texas knocked out heavy weight Bud Light and now has to take on it's older brother. I'm going with Lone Star.

Yuengling vs Amber Bock: You're going down Amber Bock! You knocked out Amanda's favorite beer. I know Amanda won't be voting for Yuengling as much as she will be voting against you. Plus Amanda doesn't have anything against Yuengling. I've seen her drink it before but just know that Amanda and I are out to see you fail in this round you fake bock you!! (That really did just make me laugh.)

Guiness vs Stella Artois: Guinness. You can't really go wrong with it. Plus have you seen the new commercial with Jerome Bettis? That commercial alone makes me want to drink a Guinness.

New Castle vs Dos Equis: Dos Equis is getting my vote. Nat Turner and I were sitting earlier today and discussing our favorite Most Interesting Man In The World lines. Mine is "He lives vicariously though himself" and hers was "He can speak fluent French ... in Russian." However the commercial that made me laugh hardest was this.

Miller High Life vs Schlitz: The flavor of Schlitz is what I imagine a headache tastes like.

Pabst Blue Ribbon vs Colt 45: I really want to vote for Colt 45 but truth be told I will be voting for PBR. I can only drink Colt 45 about once a year and I've had my one for this year. I drank one and I was hanging out with my friend Monica. We ended up driving to Amanda's bar that night (OH I JUST HIT YOU WITH A DOUBLE WHAMMY!!). I proceeded to get so drunk that I woke up confused about where I was and I was in my own bed alone. Only Colt 45 can make something like that happen.

Sam Adams vs Bass: I'm going with Bass. Do you know Bass beer was the recipient of the worlds first trademark? Yep. The orange triangle is the worlds first trademark.

Blue Moon vs Fat Tire: I don't know what I am going to do here. I don't drink enough of either one of these to be able to make a clear decision. I'll get back to you all on this one.

Peace and hair grease!

Double R
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Beer - Round 1

So let's just pretend that I haven't been missing in action for half a year and finally get this beer tournament and the rest of Coffee Cake done and get on to The Extravaganza. What'cha think?

So let's look at the match ups.

In this tournament the #1s aren't given a pass to the second round. Oddly enough, I think the safest to move on is Miller High Life. Up against Milwaukee's Best, it's hard to believe that High Life could lose but I know there are some cheap beer drinkers out there so there is a slim chance that The Beast could pull an upset. Another good #1 match to watch is Sam Adams vs Orval. Sam Adams is the better known of the two but amongst the beer connoisseurs Orval is considered one of the best beers in the world. I agree. I've had one and I love it. Plus it comes in this pimp ass glass when you order one. And it's brewed by monks. What more can you ask from a beer? Oh...it has a 6.2% alchol content. The average American beer is about 3.5%. My vote goes to Orval.

#2 vs #7

Blue Moon vs Dogfish Head: This is going to be the match to watch in the 2s vs 7s. I'm not a big fan of either though I've drank both. However, I am going with Dogfish Head in this match because I just recently found out that Dogfish Head made a beer called Miles Davis Bitches Brew in honor of the 40th year anniversary of iconic Jazz album. Blue Moon...what can I really say about beer that you have to put fruit in to drink? Let's see, beer with an orange? Beer with Jazz? Hmm...

Corona vs Dos Equis: I'ma stick with the aforementioned principle on this and go with Dos Equis. You ever tasted Corona without a lime? I'm always shocked when I see people drink it without the garnish. Plus, tell me you aren't in love with the Most Interesting Man In The World commercials. Stay thirsty my friends.

Miller Lite vs Amber Bock: Warning. This blog is NOT a drinking game!! But if it were, this is how it would go. Anytime I mention my friend Amanda, take a drink. And by that I mean, anytime you read Amanda's name. Any time I tell a story about Amanda and me drinking together or for that matter anytime I tell a story about me drinking with friends , drink a shot of whiskey or chug a beer. Anytime Amanda comments on a post, make someone else drink with you. Now that being said, I hate the taste of Miller Lite however, that's what Amanda drinks. You see, Amanda used to work for Miller so she has some sort of "they paid my bills" dedication to a beer that lies and says it Taste Great. While it may be true that it is less filling (but probably only because I usually refuse to drink it), WHO CARES! And I can't even figure out what the hell Amber Bock is supposed to be. It's not Amber in color and it doesn't taste like a bock. Michelob, I know your history! So don't keep trying to pull this crap on me damn it! I'm voting for AMANDA'S favorite beer and that should have been an easy vote for you to get from me cuz that shit is nasty!

#3s vs #6

Budweiser vs Michelob Ultra:
Fuck Michelob.

Heineken vs Stella Artois: I'm going with Stella on this one. It's been years since I drank a Heineken but one thing I remember about them is that it always had a strange bitter taste to me. Stella on the other hand is nice and smooth. I understand it is the import version of Budweiser but really, sometimes drinking beer is like talking to your friends. The complex friends are interesting and fun but sometimes you just want light and easy conversation. That's when I go for the Stella.

Shlitz vs Natural Light: Do we really have to do this? Yes. Let me tell you a story about my friend Chris Busby. A couple of weeks ago Chris and I went to a concert. Before the show, I took him to one of Macon's nicest restaurants to try a new pecan beer they just got in. I bought the round. It was great. We leave there and head to the show and he repaid my kindness by buying a bucket of Natural Light. I had a terrible headache the next day. Now it could have been the shot of 151 and coke I was tricked into drinking but I am blaming the Natural Light. So I am voting for Shlitz.

#4s vs #5s

Coors Light vs Yuengling: Coors commercials get on my nerves!! I mean damn the three big dummies talking to the NFL coaches was funny when you first did it. ... Sorta. But damn it's like 5 seasons later and you're still going with the same concept. Your other commercial is that a train comes out a brick wall and makes everyone cold. ... Now if that makes sense to any of the readers here, please stop reading my blog. Yuengling is just a good tasting beer from the nation's oldest brewery. I've never seen a commercial for it and I would still pick it before I pick the beer with the stupid commercials.

Red Stripe vs New Castle: I used to be a huge Red Stripe fan but around the time they started those Hooray Beer commercials the beer started to taste different to me. I don't know if my tastes just changed from trying so many different types of beer or if it was actually the beer. I'm still voting for Red Stripe cuz New Castle reminds me of the taste I have in my mouth after I vomit. That doesn't bode well for a night of drinking.

Colt 45 vs Keystone Light: Colt 45's slogan is "Works Every Time" and it's spokesperson is Billy Dee Williams. Keystone Light's slogan is "No Bitter Beer Face" and its spokesperson is the old man who can pull his bottom lip up over his nose. You figure out where my vote is going.

Fat Tire vs Sweetwater: Amanda.

Well there's round 1. It's good to be back. I'll see you tomorrow.
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