Monday, September 7, 2009

Movies - Round 1

So I gave round 1 an extra day of voting because I know a lot of people do Coffee Cake at work and many of us had Monday off from work. Not me however, I was still slinging drinks at BJ's.

So let's look at some of the matches.
The #1s will all easily move on. But the #8s are all some of my favorites. Plan 9 From Outer Space is considered by most to be the worst movie ever made. The Five Deadly Venoms is my all time favorite Kung-Fu movie. The Shaw Brothers really put it down on this one. The Warriors is another cult movie that I love as I am always making references on Coffee Cake to Sirus's speech at the beginning of the movie. And Attack of the Killer Tomatoes...come on. That name speaks for itself.

Rocky vs Psycho - What if these two movies were combined. Do you think Norman Bates would have sliced up Balboa or do you think Rocky would have whooped up on him? Maybe Rocky was using the Bates motel as a training facility and the shower scene would have had Adrian in it. She would have just passed out when she saw Norman Bates and drowned. He never would have needed the knife.

Continuing on the if these movies were combined theme if Star Wars and Plan 9 were combined it would be called Episodes I, II, and III.

Grease vs Breakfast At Tiffany's - I have a big ol' soft spot for Grease. I saw it back when it was originally released in New York City as a Double Feature with Star Wars. I was no older than 3 but it stuck with me. So if Grease were combined with Breakfast At Tiffany's, the high school romance never happened and Sandra Dee grew up to become Holly Golightly. Living the good live. Danny Zucko was working in a garage and one day he would decide to pursue the woman who is now way out of his league. To explain his feelings he would sing Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl".

Raiders of the Lost Ark vs The Goonies - If these two were combined wouldn't it be called Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom?

Silence of the Lambs vs Amelie - That creepy guy that sat in the corner of the cafe stalking the waitress would turn out to be a serial killer. However since the movie would be in French it would be the most romantic murders ever seen.

The Godfather vs Rocky Horror - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Can't you just see Marlon Brando in fishnet stockings and platform heels? So the Don of the mob is a cross-dresser. Jesus that would be a good movie. Somebody please make this spoof.

Full Metal Jacket vs The Big Lebowski - This would be a boring film if the two combined. The Dude would be Private Pyle. And after getting yelled at in boot camp the Dude would say fuck this and go AWOL to never be seen again.

Forrest Gump vs Pee-Wee's Big Adventure - Oddly, don't you think if these two combined it would still be Forrest Gump? He'd just have a really odd laugh. And there would be a dance scene. But everything else would stay pretty much the same.

Stand By Me vs Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory - The kids would find a dead body in the factory and we would learn that Willy Wonka was the creepy mass murderer that we always suspected he was.

So...I'll leave it at that for Round 1. I'll see you all tomorrow.

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  1. The 1971 film is entitled Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.

  2. You are correct. I will make sure I change that in the next round.

  3. The Holy Grail vs The Usual Suspects is rough, as is The Godfather vs Rocky Horror in round 1. The Lion King is neck and neck with Something About Mary, an odd pairing and a tough choice...

  4. Holy Grail watched at least 20 times. Usual Suspects watched 1 and a half times. HG wins.

    Godfather v. Rocky Horror is hard because I just watched it for the first time and loved it, but have seen Godfather about 7 times. Godfather it is!

    Grease v. Breakfast @ Tiffany's - no contest. Grease is the word. Even if you don't agree with me.

    How could the Goonies be losing? I've seen it like a million times, vs. the thousands times I've seen Raiders... *sigh*

    Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was the bomb! Love me some Gene Wilder.

    Oh yeah, and Amelie is getting beaten by the silence of the lambs? Anthony Hopkins, Smanthony Smhopkins. Amelie has a sex shop in it. How can you not love a sex shop?

  5. Almost anyone you meet can quote some part of Silence, and you bring up a sex shop... really?... how about a grown man tucking his junk back and saying in 'that voice' "I'd fuck me", of "It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again"... please; I am in for Willie Wonka; Goonies was great, but Raiders is a better movie in every way; Breakfast at Tiffany's is classic, and Audrey Hepburn is classy, both in a way not seen often enough in today's movies... I have never even been able to sit through the over-the-top bad music of grease long enough to complete it; Godfather or Rocky Horror, I cant complain about any choice there; and Usual Suspects is great acting with a strong and cohesive storyline and would get my vote against almost anything.

    I am really unhappy that we couldn't get Ghostbusters, Seven, Batman, Clerks (or Chasing Amy, or Mall Rats), Dazed and Confused, Princess Bride, Enter the Dragon, and so many more into this... I think we could spend weeks on this if the bracket were big enough...

  6. Really this could have been a 64 bracket. I just didn't have time to do one that big. Don't worry. There will be another movie bracket in the next round of tournaments.

  7. Oh and by the way I'd take Amelie over Silence of the Lambs any day. That was an awesome movie!

  8. Really? This is where I admit to talking out of my ass. I haven't seen it. I did look it up, and it got great reviews, but nothing in any of the plot descriptions or summaries made me want to see it. It was described as a romantic comedy about a sheltered girl who loves being out in the world and helps people feel good. Maybe that just isn't my usual cuppa, it just didn't turn me on. I guess this is one of those times I am voting for the known quantity without all of the facts. Dammit now I am probably going to have to go rent it.

  9. You should. Describing it as a romantic comedy doesn't do it justice. It is just a really good film.

  10. "Raiders of the Lost Ark vs The Goonies - If these two were combined wouldn't it be called Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom?" ROFL!!! This is so true!

  11. Amelie is one of my favourite movies... Roger's right. Describing it as a romantic comedy doesn't do it justice. It is hilarious. Audrey Tatou was adorable and brilliant. Amelie made me trust just about every movie Tatou would pick to play in and introduced me to Chiwetel Eijifor (sp?) For that, I will forever be grateful to Amelie. You should definitely watch it.