Gods/Goddesses - Round 2 (The Sweet Sixteen)

It's my birthday. That's my excuse for this update being so late. See, my life is filled with beautiful women and when one of these beautiful women shows up at my door and says, "Let's go hang out," what am I supposed to do? I tell you what I do, I head down to The Hummingbird and drink beer and Jager shots even when I know better. The beautiful woman I'm talking about is my friend Jessie. Jessie and I became close over the past couple of years under some pretty though circumstances. It's the friends that you go through moments like that with that you always hold a very special spot for deep inside. So when I'm sitting on Amanda's balcony helping her put together wedding invitations and Jessie rolls by in what looked to me like a fire engine, honking the horn and waving, I knew I was in for a great night. Here's the honest to god truth. Amanda and I can't keep up with Jessie. Now that's really saying something cuz Amanda and I have done some crazy shit over the years. So for Jessie to be wilder than us? ... Look out. So, after several beers, lots of laughing, singing songs from Rent, and a wonderful dinner prepared by Amanda's fiance, Aaron, Jessie and I decided to head into the heart of downtown to partake in the libations of one of the few watering holes left in downtown Macon. That's when the madness started. We got to drinking and tossing bean bags. Then the shots and us singing. We had enough sense to not stay til they put us out but the damage was done. Jessie and I started the walked home and we were so drunk we ended up laying on the steps of St. Joseph's Catholic church. Then she started to beat on me outside of the Sidney Lanier house. We finally make it back to Aaron and Amanda's and it took us no time at all to pass out. When she woke up this morning, she looked at me with a confused face and asked, "Did we walk home last night?" What a wonderful start to my birthday. My birthday is always a celebration of me (why be modest?). And biggest and bestest part of me is all of my wonderful friends. They keep my punk ass from dying and support all of my crazy ideas. They feed me and clothe me and keep me laughing and smiling. So, here's to Amanda and Aaron, Jessie, Kelly, Billy Dale Raye Hamlin, Jr, Chris Busby, Jen Evans, Kim Bracket, Corey, Josh, Angel and Mike Collins, Carol, Dirt Dog, Jacki, Cameron, Kevin (who I don't see near enough) and his wife Tawanna (who's having a baby so I don't have to), Stick and Leslie, Lesley "11th Hour" Wright, Brad and Megan "The 11 Hour" Evans, Chris Horne, and the entire downtown Macon crew, musicians, artists, alcoholics and story tellers. (I'd be naming people for weeks if I didn't cut myself off.) You all know who you are and you know I love you all. This is dedicated to all my friends who make each year of my life wonderful. You all are the gods and goddesses of my life.

Now let's get on to this fantastic Round 2!

Isis vs The Flying Spaghetti Monser - Well Flying Spaghetti Monster, you pulled off a massive first round upset. It seems The Force is strong with this one. But you're up against the Goddess of Goddesses. Isis ain't no joke. Can you handle all that fine ass Egyptianess? I doubt it. My vote goes to Isis.
Kali vs Athena - Wow. Kali knocked out the ultra violent KoKou only to move on to face the goddess of war. There is more Kali talk than a little bit floating around Coffee Cake so I'd be a plum fool not to vote for her. Kali it is.
Money vs Mother Earth - Let me say right now that I was more than embarrassed by Money trouncing Allah like that in the first round. I apologize to Muslims everywhere. How can it be that there are that many money hungry bastards reading Coffee Cake? What, does everybody here idolize Gordon Gecko in Wall Street? If Money beats Mother Earth I will shut this website down.
Thor vs Apollo - The god of thunder versus the god of music. Thor carries a fuckin' hammer. That's still one of the coolest things I've ever heard. I wish I could walk around with a hammer all the time without looking like a lunatic. Thor gets my vote.
Jesus vs Shiva - Most people think Jesus looks like this. I happen to think Jesus probably looked a lot like Bob Marley. I wish more people thought of Jesus like this. Anyway, I just can't see Shiva taking down Jesus. My vote goes with Jesus. He loves the little children.
Zeus vs Coyote - I know that Zeus is one of the favorites to take it all but Coyote is a tricky bastard. I'm looking to see Coyote do some playful magic on Zeus and come out howling and on top in this match.
Buddha vs Ra - Tough one here. My aunt gave me a statue of a meditating Buddha when I was 2 years old and I was always fascinated by him. I would sit in front of that statue for hours just staring at him.. I miss Aunt Emma. Now that I'm grown I would love to talk life theories with her. So my vote goes to Buddha in memory of Aunt Emma.
Venus vs Poseidon - Like I'd really pick a grumpy old man over the smoking hot Goddess of Love. Venus. No doubt.

Thanks again for being patient.
Happy birthday to me.

Roger
P.S. Happy Birthday to Alison, Heidi, Barrett, and Elisha (Birthday buddies are the best buddies) CANCERS ROCK!!