Beer - Round 1

So let's just pretend that I haven't been missing in action for half a year and finally get this beer tournament and the rest of Coffee Cake done and get on to The Extravaganza. What'cha think?

So let's look at the match ups.

In this tournament the #1s aren't given a pass to the second round. Oddly enough, I think the safest to move on is Miller High Life. Up against Milwaukee's Best, it's hard to believe that High Life could lose but I know there are some cheap beer drinkers out there so there is a slim chance that The Beast could pull an upset. Another good #1 match to watch is Sam Adams vs Orval. Sam Adams is the better known of the two but amongst the beer connoisseurs Orval is considered one of the best beers in the world. I agree. I've had one and I love it. Plus it comes in this pimp ass glass when you order one. And it's brewed by monks. What more can you ask from a beer? Oh...it has a 6.2% alchol content. The average American beer is about 3.5%. My vote goes to Orval.

#2 vs #7

Blue Moon vs Dogfish Head: This is going to be the match to watch in the 2s vs 7s. I'm not a big fan of either though I've drank both. However, I am going with Dogfish Head in this match because I just recently found out that Dogfish Head made a beer called Miles Davis Bitches Brew in honor of the 40th year anniversary of iconic Jazz album. Blue Moon...what can I really say about beer that you have to put fruit in to drink? Let's see, beer with an orange? Beer with Jazz? Hmm...

Corona vs Dos Equis: I'ma stick with the aforementioned principle on this and go with Dos Equis. You ever tasted Corona without a lime? I'm always shocked when I see people drink it without the garnish. Plus, tell me you aren't in love with the Most Interesting Man In The World commercials. Stay thirsty my friends.

Miller Lite vs Amber Bock: Warning. This blog is NOT a drinking game!! But if it were, this is how it would go. Anytime I mention my friend Amanda, take a drink. And by that I mean, anytime you read Amanda's name. Any time I tell a story about Amanda and me drinking together or for that matter anytime I tell a story about me drinking with friends , drink a shot of whiskey or chug a beer. Anytime Amanda comments on a post, make someone else drink with you. Now that being said, I hate the taste of Miller Lite however, that's what Amanda drinks. You see, Amanda used to work for Miller so she has some sort of "they paid my bills" dedication to a beer that lies and says it Taste Great. While it may be true that it is less filling (but probably only because I usually refuse to drink it), WHO CARES! And I can't even figure out what the hell Amber Bock is supposed to be. It's not Amber in color and it doesn't taste like a bock. Michelob, I know your history! So don't keep trying to pull this crap on me damn it! I'm voting for AMANDA'S favorite beer and that should have been an easy vote for you to get from me cuz that shit is nasty!

#3s vs #6

Budweiser vs Michelob Ultra: Fuck Michelob.

Heineken vs Stella Artois: I'm going with Stella on this one. It's been years since I drank a Heineken but one thing I remember about them is that it always had a strange bitter taste to me. Stella on the other hand is nice and smooth. I understand it is the import version of Budweiser but really, sometimes drinking beer is like talking to your friends. The complex friends are interesting and fun but sometimes you just want light and easy conversation. That's when I go for the Stella.

Shlitz vs Natural Light: Do we really have to do this? Yes. Let me tell you a story about my friend Chris Busby. A couple of weeks ago Chris and I went to a concert. Before the show, I took him to one of Macon's nicest restaurants to try a new pecan beer they just got in. I bought the round. It was great. We leave there and head to the show and he repaid my kindness by buying a bucket of Natural Light. I had a terrible headache the next day. Now it could have been the shot of 151 and coke I was tricked into drinking but I am blaming the Natural Light. So I am voting for Shlitz.

#4s vs #5s

Coors Light vs Yuengling: Coors commercials get on my nerves!! I mean damn the three big dummies talking to the NFL coaches was funny when you first did it. ... Sorta. But damn it's like 5 seasons later and you're still going with the same concept. Your other commercial is that a train comes out a brick wall and makes everyone cold. ... Now if that makes sense to any of the readers here, please stop reading my blog. Yuengling is just a good tasting beer from the nation's oldest brewery. I've never seen a commercial for it and I would still pick it before I pick the beer with the stupid commercials.

Red Stripe vs New Castle: I used to be a huge Red Stripe fan but around the time they started those Hooray Beer commercials the beer started to taste different to me. I don't know if my tastes just changed from trying so many different types of beer or if it was actually the beer. I'm still voting for Red Stripe cuz New Castle reminds me of the taste I have in my mouth after I vomit. That doesn't bode well for a night of drinking.

Colt 45 vs Keystone Light: Colt 45's slogan is "Works Every Time" and it's spokesperson is Billy Dee Williams. Keystone Light's slogan is "No Bitter Beer Face" and its spokesperson is the old man who can pull his bottom lip up over his nose. You figure out where my vote is going.

Fat Tire vs Sweetwater: Amanda.

Well there's round 1. It's good to be back. I'll see you tomorrow.